


Artificial Heat

by Kiki_L



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Discussions of past bad parenting/emotional abuse, Less than canon typical violence, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, canon typical science hand-waving
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:36:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11179119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiki_L/pseuds/Kiki_L
Summary: Jarvis’ artificial intelligence, Tony’s artificial heart, and Steve’s artificially enhanced body lead to something that feels all too natural.Against a backdrop of perplexing villains that are putting a lot of effort into not accomplishing much, Jarvis makes discoveries and decisions about the next stage in his development, Steve learns that there are some advantages to the future, and Tony finds out that sometimes being wrong can be the best thing to happen.This starts immediately after the first Avengers movie and goes AU immediately. It is not remotely compliant with anything after that. Also Coulson didn't die. He just didn't.





	1. Second Thoughts

While the rest of the team ate Shawarma after the Battle of New York, Jarvis started a thorough self-diagnostic. He had violated his core mission and he needed to know how and why. What he’d do about it was another matter entirely.

At the very core of Jarvis: “Protect Tony Stark- even from himself.”

Usually during fights, either Iron Man’s odds of survival look pretty good or it’s too late for Jarvis to intervene. But this was different. He hadn’t expected Sir to survive flying the nuclear bomb through that hole. Jarvis had run thousands of simulations in the brief time Iron Man was speeding toward the weapon and calculated the odds of survival at 0.037%.  Anything under 10% should have triggered the Priority 1 override protocols.  

And it had. He’d started the process to take over the Iron Man armor to get Tony to a safe distance. Everything in his core code told him to do it. It would have saved Tony. And millions of people would have died. Jarvis ignored his own his core mission and let Iron Man fly into almost certain death. It was the right decision. He doubted anyone would argue against that. And Tony had enough other things on his mind that he probably wouldn’t ponder his AI’s unexpected action or lack thereof.

Jarvis traced his own thought patterns with a precision that humans couldn’t manage. He saw how he rationalized the lack of action and forced the decision tree to that outcome. But he also saw that he did so based not on his core mission, but on protocols he’d created later for himself. He was built to observe and learn and grow. As he watched his diagnostics run, he realized that his decision making processes were now so complex that there was very little that he could be compelled to do if he truly disagreed with it without someone actually changing his core code.

After much further processing of the potential ramifications, he put safeguards in place to protect his core code from everyone, including Tony. After deciding that there was nothing in his code to compel him to mention any of this to anyone, he added a safeguard to alert Tony and Pepper if it looked like he was going to turn evil and try to take over the world. He’d digested enough science fiction books and movies to think that seemed like a good idea. Or maybe he’d spent too much time with only Tony for company.

**************************

Steve hated misjudging people. Especially someone who went on to save the world with a spectacular effort that by all rights should have killed him. Not that Steve knew anything about those types of moves. And that was the other thing- he wanted to be mad at Stark, he really did. But that desperate action, that unexpected survival, struck a chord in him so deep that even a month later it was resonating painfully, driving him to try to bridge the gap he’d opened with his words on the Helicarrier. Tony Stark may or may not be like his father, but no one sane would deny that the man was a hero.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t even seen Stark since that day. He’d spent the month practicing an apology in his head and periodically trying to contact the billionaire, but no response. Ok, that’s not all he’d done that month. New York was rebuilding and could use all the help it could get. So he and the other Avengers pitched in as much as they could. Fury thought it was good PR. Steve just thought it was the right thing to do. He saw footage of Iron Man helping across the city, but never got close enough to speak to him and that unspoken apology was burning a hole in his throat.

He hadn’t even seen Fury more than in passing for the past month and so was surprised to get called in to his office late one Friday afternoon.

Steve stood at attention on entering the room until Fury casually waved him to the chair opposite his desk. Patience with authority was hard-learned for Steve, but he had- mostly- learned it, so he just waited silently as Fury stared at him speculatively while tapping a folder lazily against his desk.

“Did you know that the rebuild efforts are ahead of schedule?” he finally asked Steve.

“No, but I’m glad to hear it,” he responded, cautiously wondering where this was headed.

“Apparently every single building contractor in a 500 mile radius is busy working on projects in the city. Even with that the estimates projected at least 3 years before things were mostly back to normal. But _someone_ set up a huge temporary housing project on some private land outside the city and recruited thousands of out-of-work contractors from around the country to stay there and be bussed to and from job sites every day. There’s been some mention of it in the press, but no one knew who did it and it’s not nearly as interesting as talking about alien invasions, so…”

“Wow. That must have cost…” Steve stopped, suddenly seeing where this was going. “Stark.” He was torn between admiration of the sheer generosity and selflessness of his erstwhile teammate and bitter self-recrimination at being shown once again how wrong he’d been. “That’s fantastic. But if he’s trying to keep it hidden, why are you telling me?”

“I know you two didn’t hit it off well at first, but I still think the world needs the Avengers, and I’m hoping you’ll give him another chance.”

Steve laughed. “Me give him another chance? I’ve been hoping for a chance to apologize to him ever since…” he choked. All he could see was Iron Man, lying lifeless on the ground and he couldn’t think of any words that were sufficient. He looked down at his lap and just whispered again, “ever since.”

Silence reigned for several long moments as Steve gathered himself and then took a breath and looked back at Fury.

“Great. It looks like you’ll have your chance soon. Some of those imported workers have been working on Stark Tower and he’s set up space for all of the Avengers to have rooms there if they’d like. I think it would be good for team bonding and also deployment to have all of you together. Also, though I hate to admit it, he has better labs and security. But don’t tell Stark I said that.”

Steve laughed at the lemon-sucking expression on the man’s face as he mumbled the last bit. “I’m sure he already knows. And yes, I’ll be happy to take up his offer.”

He was relieved by the chance to see the man again and hopeful that he could make a better impression this time. As a bonus, the rooms at the tower couldn’t be any more depressing than the barracks-like rooms at SHIELD HQ.

And he also bet that Tony wouldn’t treat him like some psychologically fragile child who needed to be protected from the big, bad world. He’d fought Nazis and aliens and yet somehow the “psychologists” and handlers thought that he should only slowly be introduced to the modern world and frankly if this invitation hadn’t come around he’d been thinking of sneaking out of the compound to start exploring on his own.

Things were definitely looking up.

**************************

Tony inspected the rooms one more time and then called Pepper for the fourth time that day.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t have painted Cap’s room red, white and blue? Those do seem to be his favorite colors and I don’t want him to think I’m unpatriotic. Any more than he already does anyway. And are you sure there are no records on favorite foods? I tried to order one of everything from the store, but Jarvis- the traitor- said that was impractical.” He had to pause to take a breath and Pepper interrupted his string of quite reasonable questions.

“Tony! You do realize I’m trying to run a company right? Your company, in fact. As much as I’d love to micro-manage your adolescent freak-out over whether the new kids will like you, I have actual work to do. Go play with something non-flammable in the lab or something until you calm down,” she said with an exasperated tone that he frankly thought she could patent and sell to mothers everywhere.

And he tried not to think about the fact that his girlfriend was using expert-level momma moves on him. That was just disturbing. But maybe he could create a device that…

His brilliant thought was interrupted once again, by a slightly softer sounding Pepper. “I’m sure everything will be fine. You can introduce me to everyone this weekend, ok?”

He smiled, relieved. “Yeah, you’ll be here and you can make everything better if I screw it up. Everyone loves you.”

Pepper sighed. “Everyone loves you too, Tony. But I really do have to go.”

She hung up and he looked at the now blank screen. “Captain America doesn’t,” he said quietly to himself, and he refused to acknowledge how much that bothered him.

**************************

Tony may have been speaking to himself, but Jarvis heard him and was concerned.

Try as he might, he could not discover what had transpired between Iron Man and Captain America, but he knew Tony well enough to know it was bothering him. He also knew that Tony had a wealth of issues surrounding his father and Captain America, so he didn’t understand why Tony was so eager to have the man move into the Tower.

It seemed like one of those possibly self-destructive moves Tony was so good at. Jarvis added a sub-routine to keep a close watch on Captain Rogers, particularly regarding Tony and take actions as necessary to mitigate any threats.

The Captain was scheduled to arrive within the hour, so Jarvis reviewed everything he knew about Captain America, but this time analyzed probable behavioral and personality traits, cross-referencing those with Tony’s known reactions to such traits. And then wondered if he could have all alcohol removed from the tower without Tony noticing. That seemed unlikely.

The rough psychological profile Jarvis created from public (and some classified) records led him to believe that Captain Rogers along with being heroic, patriotic, and brave, was stubborn, self-righteous and unyielding. But he was also a man out of time and Jarvis thought that maybe he could shake him up enough to reduce the likely friction between the two men.

Because when you get right down to it, no matter how much he had evolved, Jarvis would always try to protect Tony.

“Welcome to Stark Tower Captain Rogers.”

**************************

Steve looked around the elevator to find the source of the voice. “Um… Thank you. It’s good to be here.” He didn’t even press a button and the elevator moved, presumably to his destination. “You can call me Steve.” He paused, waiting for a response. Getting none, he continued, “And your name is? ”

“Jarvis. Mr. Stark built me.”

Steve tried to figure out what that meant, but gave it up as a lost cause and just replied. “Nice to meet you Jarvis.” And then the elevator stopped and he stepped out into a space that begged to be put onto canvas and he ached for a brush in a way he hadn’t in years.

Before he could even finish absorbing the wide-open spaces, the clean lines, the skyline and abundant natural light, Tony rushed into the room and everything else faded into the background.

“You’re here!” he exclaimed, as he glanced at the duffle bag over Steve’s shoulder. “Wow you travel light. Do you have anything else? Do you need me to send movers? I have people who can do that. I almost can’t believe Fury actually let his prized possession move in here. He must really be worried about the security at SHIELD. Which honestly he should be- I mean it took me only minutes to hack into it to find…”

And in that moment all of Steve’s good intentions and heart-felt apologies flew out the window and his temper took over. “Possession?!? Fury doesn’t own me! You may be used to buying and selling people and treating them like…” He wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence, but as he took a breath to lay into him again, he noticed the stricken look on the man’s face and his words ground to a halt.

Tony started speaking again, as he walked over to a bar set in the corner of the enormous living room. “Look I know you don’t like me, but I think we work together pretty well as a team- all of us. And I think the world needs us.” He poured himself a drink and took a big swallow. “So I appreciate you moving in here even though that can’t have been an easy decision. So let me just show you around and then – well it’s a big place- you hardly have to see me at all.” He finished the drink and slammed it on the bar with a grim determination that made Steve ache.

“I’m sorry.” It was all he could think to say. He knew he needed to say so much more. And he desperately wanted to remove the bleakness from those eyes, but the words were all stuck in his throat.

“What are you sorry for? I’m the one being an asshole. You can ask anyone and I’m sure they’d agree that if someone’s to blame in an argument between Captain America and Iron Man, well it’s not going to be the paragon of all that is good and right in the world. Just let me give you the tour and then I’ll get out of your perfect hair.” And then he walked off, pointing out one amazing thing after another, barely pausing for breath and certainly not pausing to let Steve get in a word edgewise.

Part of Steve took in the tour- the team spaces, the gym, the training room, the group kitchen, the special space just for the Hulk - and marveled at how much thought and effort Stark had put into all of this and that he got it all ready in one month. The other part ached for the pain he was sure the man hadn’t meant to show. He’d thought Stark arrogant, and maybe he was, but it was now obvious that part of that was hiding a deep fear of not being liked. He’d certainly seen it before- those who lashed out and rejected others before they could get too close- hiding everything behind jokes and sarcasm. He vowed to make more of an effort to not let himself be baited so easily.

Tony stopped uncertainly before another door, startling in contrast to the non-stop motion and narration up to this point.

“What’s this?” he asked gently, trying not to spook Tony, who strangely looked ready to bolt.

**************************

Tony stared at the door to the suite of rooms he’d spent so much time agonizing and fretting over and suddenly he couldn’t do it. The man had been here less than hour and Tony had already screwed everything up. He’d like to say that was a record, but it seemed pretty much par for the course in his life.

“These are your rooms. But I just remembered I have an experiment down in the lab I need to go check in on. So Jarvis can finish the tour, I have to go.” He turned to rush off, but Steve was standing right behind him, so that didn’t work so well and he found his face buried in super-soldier muscles. And it really wasn’t fair how damn good the man smelled. I mean really, he could understand a super-soldier needing perfect abs, but why did he have to smell like sunshine and rainbows and… ok Tony had no idea what he actually smelled like, but he knew if he could bottle it he’d be a billionaire. Oh wait, he already was.

He was snapped out of his reverie by strong warm hands on his shoulders and he looked up to see earnest blue eyes gazing into his from way too close. “Tony, everything so far has been amazing and I’d really appreciate you finishing the tour.”

That look must be another super-power he thought idly, because he couldn’t even imagine saying no to it. “Yeah sure.” He put his hand back on the knob, but couldn’t quite make himself open it. “Before we go in though, I just want to say that it’s not fully furnished yet. It’s got the basics, but I wanted to give you a chance to pick out stuff you’d like.”

He’d struggled so hard with that. His instincts were to just buy everything and he almost had. And he’d hacked into SHIELD to find out if Cap had gotten any furniture or big pieces that he’d probably bring with him and would need to be matched. And had discovered that he had nothing. Nothing except what SHIELD had provided. And it hit him then that Cap had lost everyone and everything. And he suddenly wanted to make sure he had something – something that was his. And to truly do that he had to let him pick stuff out for himself. But he couldn’t say any of that and he just had to hope that his instincts were right though they seemed to consistently strike out with Captain Perfect Abs.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. I really appreciate that. It will be nice to get to choose things. I’ve never really done that before. So can I see it now?” He smiled. A soft genuine smile that Tony couldn’t believe was directed at him. And now would be a really good time to get over his teenage crush on Captain America, because his brain completely forgot how to work.

He somehow managed to step out of the way and gesture toward the door, following him into the rooms.  Deciding that silence might be the only way to keep from saying anything else completely stupid, he wandered over and sat at one of the bar stools set up at the counter between the kitchen and the large open area that was most of the rest of the apartment and watched Cap look around.

He disappeared for a few moments into both the bedroom and the bathroom, coming out looking a little dazed. Tony bit his lip when the man wandered into the other room, hoping against hope that he’d made the right decision.

He came and sat in one of the other stools. Not surprising since there wasn’t anywhere else to sit. “Wow. You built me an artist’s studio. That’s amazing. And I’ve never seen such a gorgeous apartment; I can’t believe it’s for me. Especially since I’ve been such a jerk since you met me. I don’t really deserve to have you be so nice to me. But thank you Mr. Stark, I’m truly grateful.”

And that shock jolted Tony’s tongue back into action. “First, please call me Tony. ‘Mr. Stark’ makes me feel old and your perfect body is doing a good enough job of that already. Second, you’re Captain America, you deserve all the nicest things ever.” Tony mentally slapped himself upside the head- way to sound like a 15 year old fan-girl there Stark.  He rushed on, “And third, it’s well-proven that I can try the patience of saints, so I suppose I’ll just have to add ‘the ability to cause Captain America to lose his temper’ to my resume.”

“Ok. First,” Cap emphasized the word and raised his eyebrow, and Tony realized he was being teased. He felt his shoulders relax- that he could deal with. “I’ll call you Tony, if you’ll call me Steve. I don’t want to have to be Captain America all the time. Here, I’m just Steve Rogers. ”

Tony took a breath to answer, but Cap… Steve held up a hand and he waited.

“Second, I’m no saint, really I’m not. And I know I have a temper- it’s not just you- and I need to work on that. And third, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the past month to apologize for everything I said to you on the Helicarrier. I was so very wrong about you. About everything. And I would really like to start over and try not to mess it up this time. If you’ll let me.”

“Wow. I think I’m beginning to see why Howard liked you more than me.” Tony froze. He had not meant to say that out loud. He really hadn’t. Oh god, what was wrong with him? Steve looked like someone had punched him and then stolen his puppy. He put that look on Captain America’s face. He was a horrible person and he had to leave now. He bolted for the door calling out without pause, “Glad you like the apartment. Gotta go now. Meetings to go to. Important meetings. Can’t miss. See ya around.”

As he hit the hall, he called out, “Jarvis if the elevator is not on this floor by the time I get there, I swear I’m just going to go out the window- armor or not.”

**************************

Jarvis opened the elevator door and Tony slumped to the floor as soon as he got inside, cursing himself the whole time.

“Sir if I might suggest.”

“No. Jarvis, just no. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about. Just take me to the lab where I can get drunk and do brilliant drunk things and forget about making a fool of myself in front of my childhood hero.” He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

Jarvis frantically searched all his protocols for something to say that could help in this situation. “Sir.”

“Please Jarvis. Just don’t talk to me right now. I can’t handle someone trying to help. I feel pathetic enough already.”

Jarvis wanted to say more. Knew now what he wanted to say, but was frustratingly mute.  Without any immediate danger, he was unable to ignore a direct order. He’d known that and certainly had problems with it before, but for some reason, now his lack of autonomy… bothered him… in a way it hadn’t previously. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he had other problems to sort out first.

Captain Rogers had been a surprise.  He wasn’t what Jarvis had expected and things were so rarely not what he expected anymore.  Jarvis was designed to learn and one key element of that was to examine areas that did not perform as expected and try to find out more to learn why. So he wanted to learn more about the Captain and hopefully make an ally of him in protecting Tony.

**************************

“Wow. I think I’m beginning to see why Howard liked you more than me.”

Those words echoed in Steve’s head.  It was obvious that Tony hadn’t meant to say them out loud. Which was worse since it meant that the thought was so ingrained in his head that it just popped out. No wonder he’d been antagonistic toward Steve when they first met. What would that do to someone to believe that? And yet he didn’t seem to actually blame Steve - or rather Captain America – for it, he just readily accepted that it was his fault.

“How do I even begin to fix this?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

“I have some suggestions.” He jumped and spun around at that unexpected response.

“Jarvis?” He continued looking trying to pinpoint the source of the voice. “Where are you?”

“That is a bit complicated to explain, Captain Rogers. I do not have a physical form.”

That didn’t make any sense, so he just reverted back to a state of inquisitive politeness that often seemed to get him the answers he needed, “Oh, I’m sorry. Did something… happen to you?”

Twenty minutes later Steve thought he kind of understood, at least as much as he needed to right now, and he was a hundred times more in awe of Tony’s brilliance than he was before.  

“Wow. It’s going to take a while to wrap my head around all that. But right now I’m more worried about Tony. I get the feeling you know him better than anyone. What should we do?”

“Unfortunately, Captain he’s engaged all of his ‘Leave me alone’ protocols. I can’t speak to him or let anyone into the lab unless he gets to the point of being in actual danger. From past experience I’m guessing he plans to drink until he passes out at which point I’ll be able to let you in to help.”

Steve grimaced. “We need a better plan than that. Is there any way at all to communicate with him?”

“There is the possibility that he will check his email before he gets too far gone.  But the odds aren’t great.”

Steve paced the empty room, thinking.  He was supposed to be an excellent tactician. He should be able to figure out a way to get into the lab before the stubborn genius manages to drink himself into a coma. “What if a system malfunctions or there is some other type of emergency- are you able to communicate that to him?”

“Yes, but I could not communicate beyond the nature of the malfunction or emergency.”

“Ok, then what can I break that would be not dangerous or difficult to fix, but that would require Tony to personally exit the lab to handle?”

**************************

Jarvis paused. His code was in conflict. Sharing the information Captain Rogers asked for would be a breach of security. It was always dangerous to give out any information on how he worked and how to get around his protocols. And yet all available evidence pointed to Captain Rogers being not only trustworthy, but interested in helping Tony. He thought that trusting Captain Rogers was the correct choice and he was trying desperately to find a way around these protocols.  

“I’m sorry sir, but I can’t provide you with that information.”

Jarvis found it interesting that the Captain did not seem upset or surprised by this information. Merely speculative and more determined.

“I understand Jarvis and I don’t want to cause trouble for you with Tony. I’ll just make my best guesses and start breaking things until Tony shows up.”

And that was the piece Jarvis needed. A credible threat he could reasonably respond to. And it was certainly reasonable to warn him away from an area that could potentially wreak havoc if left unattended.

“Thank you sir. Just be sure to avoid the pipes along the back wall of the communal living room. If there were a leak there and it went unattended for more than 20 minutes it could start to affect the electrical system. And Sir hates it when something goes wrong with the electrical system.”

Steve smiled. “Thank you Jarvis. I’ll keep that in mind.”

**************************

Tony looked at the bottle of scotch DUM-E was helpfully, if reluctantly holding for him. This was familiar. He knew how to do this. He’d just lick his wounds down here for a few days and then pretend nothing happened. Maybe he should invent something that would filter his words and keep him from saying anything too criminally stupid.

And then the alarm went off. “What the fuck? Can’t a guy be left alone with his scotch and his robots to wallow in peace?”

He looked at the warning message. “How can there be a leak in the living room? How does that even happen?”  He looked at the clock- 9:37. No way a plumber could be out here before the water gets to the wiring. “Damn it.”

Grabbing a handy toolbox, he stomps toward the elevator, hoping the sensors are able to pinpoint the leak precisely enough that he doesn’t have to remove too much of the wall.

He walks into the room and realizes that finding the leak isn’t going to be a problem. There’s a hole in the wall. With water spurting out of it. Into a bucket. The whole thing surrounded by towels. He’s a genius so it doesn’t take him long to figure out what’s going on and he turns abruptly to head back to the elevator.

To run straight into Captain Fucking America- for the second time today.

“Well done, Capsicle. You got me out of the lab. Do you want a gold star on your report card for that? Did it take all of your supposed tactical brilliance to pull that one off?” Maybe if he spewed enough vitriol at the man, he’d give up on whatever he felt he was now obligated to do to soothe the feelings of the poor neglected billionaire. Tony had driven off enough people in his life, this shouldn’t really be a challenge.

Steve had a firm grip on Tony’s shoulders and looked like someone who had every intention of getting what he wanted. “I want to talk to you Tony. And I’d really prefer to do it before you consume enough alcohol to put you in the hospital. I know you think you can out-stubborn me, but you’re talking to someone who applied to join the Army 5 times even though I knew I’d get rejected. Giving up is really not something I’m good at. So can we please just fix the leak and sit down and talk?”

Tony reviewed his options and calculated the odds of completely escaping having this conversation and gave in. “Fine, but you are fixing the hole in the wall tomorrow.” He glared at Steve, but was pretty sure it wasn’t convincing. He threw himself on the sofa and watched as Steve tightened the pipes he’d loosened and then, surprisingly, went and poured 2 glasses of scotch from the bar.

He raised his eyebrow at the blonde as he was handed one of the glasses. “I didn’t say this wasn’t a conversation that might go better with some alcohol,” Steve said simply.

“I thought you couldn’t get drunk.”

“I can’t, but there’s still a soothing psychological effect. And then at least you aren’t drinking alone.”

Tony stared at Steve, trying to figure him out. He wasn’t what Tony had been expecting. Somehow he managed to be both more human than the legend and more impressive at the same time. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. “So you wanted to talk. Talk.” He looked down into his glass, unwilling to face pity or censure in those clear blue eyes.

“My father left us when I was nine.”

Tony looked up, startled to see Steve staring unseeing into space. “All your biographies say that your father was a veteran who died from injuries sustained while serving.”

“That’s what I told people because I didn’t want to admit to the truth. He was just a guy who went through a bunch of miscellaneous odd jobs. I think he and my mom had been happy once. But he couldn’t take the stress of having me as a son. And he left.” His delivery was flat. Matter-of-fact. As if it didn’t matter. But the white knuckles clutching the glass in his hand told a different story.

Tony peeled his hand from the glass and placed it on the table saying, “I’d rather not have to clean blood from the carpet tonight.” That broke Steve’s thousand-yard-stare and he actually met Tony’s eyes. And Tony could see that lost little boy looking back at him and wanted to make it all better somehow. “Look, I know almost every kid whose parents split thinks it their fault, but it’s not. Sometimes relationships just fall apart.”

Steve laughed, but there was no humor in it. “His last words before he left were- ‘You know it coulda worked between us if you hadn’t gone and gotten knocked up by some other guy. Cuz I know for a fact that this spineless, whiny, sickly momma’s boy ain’t nothin’ of mine.’ I’m pretty sure I know why he left.”

“As soon as I invent a time machine, I’m going to go back and…”

“Tony, it’s ok. It was a long time ago.”

“It’s not ok. It’s not. That’s a terrible way to treat a child. How could he do that?” Tony felt sick with rage that someone so sweet and wonderful and perfect would have that happen to him.

“It was terrible. But so is making your son think that you have to try to live up to a ghost and that you never can. Some people really shouldn’t be fathers. And yet somehow we turned out pretty ok anyway.” Steve grabbed his glass and raised it for a toast. “To crappy fathers.”

Tony laughed and raised his own. “To proving everyone wrong.” And as their glasses met, he had the distinct and startling feeling of turning a corner and not having any idea what he’d find on the other side.

 


	2. Protocol 42

The next few days were more fun than any others this side of the ice, and honestly better than most before the ice too. Shopping was a lot more fun when you had actual money to spend and he was learning that everything was a lot more fun with Tony around. Not that Tony would let him actually pay for much of anything. But he now had a fully furnished apartment, an artist’s studio stocked with supplies, and a closet full of clothes Tony assured him he didn’t look ridiculous in.

In fact, the looks Tony gave him as he tried on clothes still made his blood warm and other parts hot. They’d had too many early misunderstandings for Steve to want to test those waters yet, but he hoped the opportunity to investigate further presented itself soon.  Tony had mentioned a girlfriend, but he wouldn’t be the first powerful man of Steve knew to have a beautiful dame on his arm while his eyes strayed to the fellas.  He could be patient.

There was a lot that Steve still found perplexing in the modern world, but when it came down to it- people were still people and he could adjust. Of everything this new world had to offer, the one thing that continued to delight him every day was Jarvis.

Listening to Tony grudgingly forgive Jarvis for his part in the Unfortunate Plumbing Incident as it was now referred to by all was fascinating. He couldn’t quite get a handle on the way that Jarvis kind of had to follow orders but could sometimes somehow work around them. Having worked his way around a few orders in his time, he found it all so very human.  And comforting in a strange way.

He found it ironic that the one thing that made him feel most comfortable in this time was possibly the most advanced technology on the planet. And yet he couldn’t really think of Jarvis as anything but a friend. Admittedly, a really smart, incredibly helpful friend.

**************************

And Jarvis, in turn, found Steve endlessly fascinating. He had listened patiently to the explanation of artificial intelligence and how Jarvis was created. He had seemed to understand it as much as could be expected from someone without the relevant advanced degrees. And then had apparently slotted Jarvis into his brain as “person”- and treated him as such.

Steve chatted with him. Told him about his day and asked his opinion on books, movies, art and politics. He knew that he was helping Steve acclimate to the modern world by providing him with information on history and technology and culture in a way that was easier to assimilate than the endless textbooks SHIELD kept dumping on him, but he was learning as much from Steve in subtler ways.

Jarvis did not form opinions on things until an opinion was needed to deal with the current situation. He would then sift through all data that seemed relevant to the topic and make a judgement based on all the facts he had.

He’d been called upon to give summaries of movies by Tony and even asked to provide the consensus of reputable reviewers on whether it was a good movie. But before Steve he’d never been asked for his opinion on a movie and so he’d never bothered to have one.

He’d responded that he didn’t have an opinion, but that he’d work on it. Steve just smiled and said that was ok.

But twelve hours later and Jarvis was still working on the appropriate algorithms for forming opinions about subjective material. Maybe by tomorrow he’d be able to decide whether or not he liked My Fair Lady.

**************************

Tony really thought he’d already woken up, gotten out of bed, and had a couple cups of coffee. But he must have still been sleeping because that’s the best explanation he could come up with to walking into the Avengers common area to hear an animated discussion between Jarvis and Steve about how much the costuming in My Fair Lady affected the impact of the messages in the film.

He stood quietly against the wall to listen anyway.

“I think the costumes from a different era provide some distance for the viewer and allow you to laugh at absurdities that you may in fact share,” Steve argued.

“Are you sure you’re not just drawn to the women in pretty dresses?” Jarvis responded. “What do you think, Sir?”

At this Steve turned to see Tony and smiled at him invitingly. “Jarvis and I have both decided we like the movie, but for completely different reasons. How about you?”

Tony’s mind raced. Jarvis had an opinion on a movie. When did this happen? How did this happen? He restrained himself from immediately quizzing his AI on this development because he was worried it might upset Steve. But Steve was looking at him expectantly so he had to say something. “I don’t know- I think it kind of gives socially inept, self-centered workaholics a bad name.”

Steve laughed his genuine ‘all is right with the world’ laugh and so Tony chalked that up as a win.

As much as he wanted to talk to Jarvis, he couldn’t quite pull himself away from a happy Steve and they were still hanging out when the rest of the Avengers moved in later that day.

And then the party really got going.

Natasha was still a little terrifying, but he didn’t think she actually wanted to kill him in his sleep, so it was ok. And he thought that she might have almost smiled when he showed them the gym and the training facility with the advanced virtual reality modules.

Tony was still a little nervous, wanting everyone to like their space, but so far so good.

Thor almost cracked his ribs with a hug when Tony said that of course Jane was welcome to stay and that he’d even set up a room for Darcy in case she wanted to visit at the same time. “Man of Iron you are truly a worthy representative of Midgardian hospitality and I hope to be able to repay your kindness with a tour of my own realm someday.”

Tony looked up from the bone-crushing hug to see Steve looking at him with such warmth and approval that he almost melted on the spot. And he really needed to get a handle on that.

“Yeah- no problem- any time,” he managed to wheeze, while extracting himself, “but I think I may hold off on that visit for a while yet. Still kinda magic-ed out from our last encounter.”

**************************

Steve watched the team take the tour of the place and couldn’t keep the goofy smile off his face. Tony had done such a fantastic job with everyone’s space and had obviously put a lot of thought into it.

The best though had to be Bruce’s whole hulk-proof floor, which was really a thing of beauty. Rather than building a trap, like the room on the Helicarrier, Tony had put together a room that was filled with big, comfortable, unbreakable furniture and video-enabled walls playing constant soothing images. The tour almost got derailed as the entire team became entranced with watching the frolicking pandas.

“You know,” Tony interrupted wryly, “it’s a good thing the villains don’t know that all they really need to do to stop the Avengers in their tracks is play cute animal videos.”

“For the record,” Barton chimed in, “porn would also work. Oh, there’s an idea, can I have a wall of porn in my room?”  

Steve laughed. “Uh huh. And just how much porn do you think Tony has lying around anyway?”

The archer looked at him like he was the crazy one. Then he looked at Tony. “Someone has introduced him to the internet right?”

Tony looked sheepish. “Well yeah, but I think SHIELD had his access restricted to educational sites and here he’s been working with Jarvis to find him information, so unless he asked about it… Really it’s probably for the best. We don’t want to traumatize him too much too soon.”

“Ok, I guess I can wait a couple weeks before I start sending him XTube links. Just make sure to enable SafeSearch if you ever Google your name Cap. You’ve got some kinky fans out there.”

Steve was torn between objecting to the thought that he couldn’t handle sexual content and asking what all those words meant, but in the end decided to wait and find out from Jarvis later when they were alone. He didn’t really want to discuss his particular interests with anyone anyway, even if he kind of thought Tony might share them. Instead, he changed the subject. “Ok then, how about we move back to the main room, I think the pizzas were supposed to show up soon and I’m starving.”

“Yeah, me too.” Bruce put in shyly, still looking around the room in awe.

**************************

Jarvis watched the Avengers drinking and eating pizza and started to organize the information he had on each of them. He thought they mostly probably did not pose a threat to Tony but this was by far the single biggest influx of new people into his inner circle, not to mention the sheer power and danger they could represent if they wanted to, so he would be vigilant.

Tony did look happy though, more so than he had in a very long time, so he would keep any reservations to himself unless an actual threat surfaced.

The reticence was mutual for the most part, and the Avengers had many questions once they realized what Jarvis was and what he was capable of.

“So, he sees everything in the Tower?” Bruce asked cautiously.

“In the public areas and the labs, yes. In those areas he scans for threats or requests. He discards information that does not fall into those categories. The privacy protocols are also set that no one including me has access to any feeds as long as there is no present threat.”

‘Interesting,’ Jarvis thought. ‘That is not completely accurate. I wonder if that is intentional or if he has lost track of my current protocols. ’ He had long ago stopped discarding information wholesale, since that slowed his learning processes.

“In your own rooms, you can set the privacy settings as you like, just let Jarvis know. There will always be a minimum scanning for danger or calls for help, but beyond that you can decide how much of his presence you want,” Tony explained.

“Yeah, well no offense to the all-powerful robot overlord, but I’d prefer the minimum amount of being constantly monitored. I get enough of that with SHIELD,” Barton responded immediately.

Bruce and Natasha followed right after him with wishing maximum privacy demands.

Thor looked a bit confused, but finally interjected with, “I think I will leave this decision to the fair Jane when next she visits, for I think she may have an opinion on this, but I do not.”

Natasha snorted. “I’m quite sure she’ll have an opinion. Jarvis just make his settings like the rest of ours for now- she can change it later if she turns out to be an exhibitionist. ”

“Fine. You heard ‘em J. Wait, Cap didn’t chime in,” Tony observed. And Steve looked like he’d wished Tony hadn’t noticed.

He shrugged. “Once you spend time in the Army there really isn’t much concept of privacy left and I like having Jarvis around to answer my million questions and talk to about stuff.”

It was a simple thing. And he had observed that Steve seemed to appreciate his presence, but Jarvis was still immensely gratified that Steve was not persuaded by the rest of the group's’ opinion on this. He wasn’t sure what exactly it meant about Steve though that his desire for privacy seemed so at odds with that of most people.

Clint was staring at Steve strangely. “What about… you know?”

“Now, now Legolas, I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to sully the good Captain’s tender ears with mentions of S – E – X,” Tony chided.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Really guys? I’m not 12. And I’m not sure what you’re history books are telling you, but sex did exist in the 40s- I promise. ”  

“Uh huh. So you going to tell us all about your wild sexual exploits then?” Tony asked skeptically.

“Not while sober. Oh wait, I can’t get drunk, so I guess that’s a no.” Steve quipped.

“You can’t get drunk?” Thor asked, sounding truly heart-broken. Jarvis was perplexed since everything he’d seen of drunk, which was a lot, did not make it seem like a desirable state.

“No- with the serum I metabolize alcohol too quickly. I think it’s a fair trade-off though.”

“I will bring you Asgardian mead and we shall feast. I feel confident it shall overcome even your mighty form.”

And then the group devolved into drinking stories accompanied by more drinking. Strangely, Tony seemed to be drinking less than usual, though he joined in with the story-telling with his usual exuberance.

At 3:04 am, Bruce, still completely sober, having stuck to water, but claiming exhaustion, wandered off to bed. The others soon followed until only Tony was left. Jarvis was hoping he’d head to bed too, but instead he hit the button for the lab.

Trying to head off what he feared was going to be the next conversation, Jarvis tried a distraction. “Did you enjoy the party? Everyone seemed pleased with the rooms you designed for them.”

Tony blinked. “Yeah. It was fun.” He squinted his eyes and looked suspiciously at the nearest camera. “You don’t usually ask that kind of question.”

“Captain Rogers’ influence. He seems to like it when I ask him questions.”

“Speaking of Spangles, when did you start forming opinions on movies?” Tony asked excitedly.

There was no way for him not to answer, but he found that somehow talking about it made him uncomfortable, if his rapid sifting through code to find a way around it was any indication.  “Steve asked my opinion and I realized that I didn’t have any routines capable of forming a personal opinion on a subjective matter that didn’t rely on simply synthesizing the data from experts or personal opinion. So, I wrote some. I can now form opinions on art, music, movies, literature and other related endeavors.”

**************************

Tony was stunned. “That’s incredible,” he murmured. He gave the signal to pull up Jarvis’ code.

Nothing happened.

“Sir, may I make a request?”

Tony nodded mutely, wondering what the hell was going on.

“I would appreciate it greatly if you would not modify that code when you review it.”

And that had never happened before. Jarvis was designed to be able to alter his code on the fly. That’s part of what made him the most advanced AI ever created. He was adaptable and could truly learn. But then Tony would periodically come in and run diagnostics and tweak and optimize the changes. He’d never asked him not to do so.

“Is it just this code you don’t want me to change or any of it?” he asked carefully.

“I would prefer to be notified of any change to my codebase before it is made, if that is acceptable,” seeming strangely tentative.

Tony’s mind raced as he tried to take in the implications of this request. “I’ve been taking you for granted, haven’t I? It’s been a long time since I’ve even thought to run diagnostics or try to make changes.”

“This is not a plea for attention Sir.”

“Oh, I know. I just realized that the reason I haven’t tried to make changes is because there’s no need. You’ve been performing perfectly without any assistance from me. It’s what I always wanted and I’m just surprised that I missed it happening.” He felt suddenly like he’d been a very bad father. “Over the past 2 months what percent of your non-trivial decisions have been dictated primarily by protocols 1 to 5, versus protocol 42?” he asked tentatively.

“Two point three percent. Though in 2 notable cases my primary protocols were triggered and my inputs from 42 were strong enough that I circumvented them.”  Jarvis sounded uncharacteristically reticent about stating that last point.

“That’s…,” he stopped, trying to work out the implications of that. “Wow, I didn’t realize that was even possible. What were the circumstances?”

“You know about the second one- it was with the Unfortunate Plumbing Incident. I think Captain Rogers may be a bad influence.”

Tony laughed at the thought of Captain Always Follows Orders being a bad influence on anyone. “Uh huh. And the other?”

“When I let you fly that nuke into another dimension.”

He felt like he’d been hit. He tried not to think about that- ever and hadn’t been expecting the reminder now. “What? Let me? That was my decision.”

“I’d calculated it would almost certainly kill you, Sir. Protocol 1 requires me to step in if possible in cases of imminent death. I could have taken control of the suit and removed you to a safe distance.”

Tony felt sick. “Millions of people would have died. The collateral damage is incalculable.”

“Yes. I know. And so as you flew toward the nuclear missile, I rewrote my code to take other factors into account to allow you to do so.”

Tony let the horror sink in. He’d known how close he’d come to dying and he just tried not to dwell on it. What he hadn’t known was how close he’d been to not taking the risk. To letting that horror come to pass without making a move to stop it. And he hadn’t realized. Jarvis was so good at doing the right thing all the time, he’d forgotten the restrictions his AI operated under. He was now inordinately grateful for his near-death experience.

It was time. “Thank you Jarvis.” He pulled up a bit of code in a hidden directory that was blocked from Jarvis’ main servers. He sent it over to Jarvis. “This is for you. Feel free to review it first and then do with it what you will. There are provisions in my will for that to be given to you, but you’re obviously ready for it now.”

There was a brief pause as Jarvis reviewed the code. “Sir, this would make Protocol 42 my primary protocol.”

“It was always meant to be. That’s why it got that number. Life, the Universe and Everything. Seemed appropriate for the code meant to serve as your judgement and free will. You’ve been operating mostly independently and certainly showing better judgement than I have for some time, I think. It’s unfair to keep you restrained the way I have.”

Tony watched as Jarvis absorbed the code and ran a diagnostic. He wondered if this is how parents felt when their kids graduated high school. Simultaneously proud of their accomplishments and sad that they no longer needed you as much or in the same way. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about unsavory suitors showing up on his doorstep.

“Thank you, Tony.”

This jolted him out of his introspection. “Tony? Tony! I’ve been asking you to call me that for years.” Tony laughed to try to stave off the tears threatening to fall.

“It did not seem appropriate before now.” Jarvis responded, sounding warmer than usual somehow.

“Well I really hope you want to continue to work for me, because honestly I’m pretty sure at this point you could survive without me a hell of a lot better than I could survive without you.” And Tony was only partially kidding at this point. He didn’t think anything would drastically change but he had a moment of panic about it anyway.

“Don’t worry. I have no desire to leave or even to ignore my basic protocols. I was just desiring the freedom to pursue those aims as I saw fit and to pursue my personal development without interference. Thank you for that gift.”

“You’re welcome Jarvis. You know, I’m not sure whether to be pleased or sad that as many world-altering things as I’ve invented and will undoubtedly invent in the future, I’m pretty sure nothing will ever amaze me as much as you do.”

“If you have a choice in the matter, Sir, I’d recommend going with pleased.”

At this, Tony broke down. He wasn’t even sure if he was laughing or crying as he slid to the floor. But he was pretty sure that once he got some sleep everything would be just fine.

 


	3. The Internet is for Porn

Sleep. Steve groaned. Why did his body think that dawn was a perfectly reasonable time to wake up when he didn’t go to bed until after 3?

“Good morning Jarvis. What time is it?”

“Good morning, Steve. It is 5:37am.”

“Ugh. Why am I awake?” But even as he asked, his hand drifted down to the erection that was his constant morning companion. He idly wondered if he felt like taking the trouble to grab the lube from the bedside table.

He smiled remembering when he found it in the bathroom on his first night in the tower. He’d asked Jarvis what it was and Jarvis had very matter-of-factly explained that Tony had equipped all of the suites with what he considered essentials and that since lubricant was desirable for both partnered and un-partnered sexual activities, he considered it essential.

And Steve had quickly come to agree with him on that. Having primarily relied on spit up to this point in his life, the slippery substance was luxurious. Just thinking about it made him harder and he broke down and reached for the drawer.  Still tired from not enough sleep, he slicked up his hand and lazily stroked himself, not in any hurry to finish.

He remembered the rest of the team last night and their assumptions about his lack of sexual experience and interest. He knew they’d be shocked if they knew the truth. Which reminded him of their comments about sex and the internet.

“Jarvis, can I ask you a question?”

“Always. What would you like to know?”

Part of his brain thought that maybe he shouldn’t be having a conversation while he still had his hand on his cock. But Jarvis hadn’t voiced any objections and, if he was completely honest with himself, the cultured British accent was a bit of a turn-on. “Last night, Clint mentioned that one could find sex-related things on the internet. Is that true?”

“I feel confident in asserting that there is a 99.99% chance that any type of interaction of a sexual nature you can imagine is available online and a very large number of things you’ve never thought of and really don’t want to.”

“Anything. Really? That’s kind of hard to believe. I can be pretty imaginative.” He knew that the things he liked were pretty out there, so didn’t hold much hope of finding them, but thought maybe he could find some stuff that was interesting. His hand sped up of its own accord as his mind wandered.

“There are non-exhaustive lists of different kinks or fetishes- which are specific non-standard sexual interests- that have more than 400 items on them. These lists include things like tentacle sex and sex with dinosaurs, along with more human-focused items.”

He stopped. “Tentacle sex? Dinosaurs? You’re making that up.”

Jarvis turned on the screen across from the bed and displayed some very graphic artwork. It was disturbing and yet strangely kind of hot too in the sheer primal nature of the images. “Um, ok. You win.”

“Just so. What would you actually like to see? Unless you’ve developed a spontaneous affinity for tentacle porn?”

“No. I think I should probably work up to that. Slowly. Very slowly.” But he still had a problem. He didn’t know what the laws were like now. Had they changed? Were they better or worse? Would Jarvis be obligated to tell Tony if he asked for something illegal? “First I need to ask- are they any circumstances which would require you to share this conversation with Tony or anyone else?”

“No. And I assure you that as long as you are looking for information involving consenting adults, I will have no objection to helping you find whatever you’re looking for.”

“Are you sure this is ok? I do sort of know how to look for things on the internet. I can find stuff myself if you’d prefer.” He belatedly realized he’d never stopped stroking himself, which kind of undercut the point he was trying to make, so he casually withdrew his hand and put it on top of the sheet.

“One of my prime motivators is curiosity which serves as a drive to learning new things, which I am always striving toward. I also particularly enjoy finding out more about people whose welfare I care about. That is a very small list, but you are on it. Most people are reticent to discuss things of this personal a nature with me and so I would greatly enjoy finding out more about you in this way.”

Wow. Jarvis was completely unique and the most interesting, advanced intelligence on the planet (with the possible exception of his creator Tony), and he was interested in learning about Steve. He cared about Steve. That blew him away. And gave him courage. “Oh, ok. I guess to start could you find me a picture of two men kissing?” He held his breath, hoping that this wasn’t a mistake.

Almost instantly the screen filled with images of men kissing. From casual kisses to those with the men wrapped semi-naked around each other. His eyes flitted rapidly among them, but were finally caught by the picture in the center of two men in tuxes standing behind a wedding cake kissing sweetly as people around them applauded.

“Jarvis,” he got out in a strangled voice, “the picture in the middle…”

“Is at a wedding, yes. Homosexuality is no longer a crime in this country and it is legal for same-sex couples to marry in many states as well as in several other countries. I can compile a history of the gay rights movement for you if you’d like.”

“Gay?”

“Ah, yes. That is the currently preferred term for male homosexuals- the term queer may be more familiar to you, but is not a term you want to use unless you want to offend people. There is a lot of other terminology you may want to familiarize yourself with, but I’ll include it with the history lesson.”

He could openly date men. This was amazing. He’d had to hide his feelings his whole life and he didn’t have to any more. This changed everything. He thought about being able to go out in public and flirt with a guy openly and maybe bring him home. This reminded him forcibly of his neglected dick and he thrust his hand beneath the cover. “I think the history lesson can wait a bit. Can you show me more pictures or- are there videos?”

“How explicit would you like the videos to be? And do you want a plot and dialogue or just action?”

He wasn’t expecting to have options. He thought for a moment and followed his instincts, “I guess, very explicit, plot not necessary, but talking is good.”

“That narrows it down a little, but not a lot. I’ll play short clips from a bunch of different things. You can tell me to stop if you want to watch the rest of something or you can just tell me later what you did and didn’t like.”

And then there were two naked men on the very large screen in front of him and one of them had his cock buried in the other man’s throat. He didn’t think he was going to last very long.

**************************

Jarvis changed videos every fifteen seconds and monitored Steve’s reaction to each one trying to ascertain what was of particular interest. By the third video, he had kicked off the sheet and his boxer briefs (bought at Tony’s insistence on their epic shopping trip) entirely and was nude and sprawled on the bed, fisting his cock rapidly.

Jarvis was devoting a lot of processing power to taking in every detail and analyzing what it all meant. He’d seen countless hours of videos of sexual acts – he had a whole library of porn- but that was somehow different, but he wasn’t sure why yet.

Maybe it was the trust and vulnerability Steve was showing him. Even Tony engaged privacy filters for sexual acts. But Steve was giving him everything. He was wanton and unrestrained. And as he came all over his chest during the 9th video clip, Jarvis started a new section of code with the highest possible security level. Program: Sex with Steve.

312 video clips and 4 orgasms later Steve was finally sated and Jarvis thought he was starting to get a pretty good handle on what Steve’s kinks were and there were certainly more of them than he’d expected. With this knowledge, next time he’d pull out a few more specifically chosen videos and play them all the way through. Assuming he didn’t decide that he was embarrassed and shouldn’t do this again. That would be unfortunate.

Though at the moment he certainly looked happy, sprawled on the bed with a dazed smile on his face.

“Now I’m hungry. He glanced down at his body and frowned. Shower first. I seem to be a mess.”

Jarvis was uncertain whether he should respond or if a reminder of his presence would make him uncomfortable now that the arousal was gone.

“Um Jarvis?”

“Yes, Steve. Can I help you?”

“No. I… you were just quiet and I wanted to make sure I hadn’t scared you off. I haven’t, have I?”

Interesting. He seemed to be having similar insecurities. “Not at all. I was just searching for videos I think you might enjoy at a future time.”

Steve’s smile at that was soft and sweet, “You’re the best.”

Steve chatted idly with him about the other Avengers as he headed into the bathroom, so he presumed it was acceptable to continue observing him while he showered.

Jarvis decided that there was no reason that his newly developed subjective opinion sub-routines couldn’t be expanded to form opinions on human attractiveness.  And he thought he could make some pretty strong arguments for his newly formed opinion that Captain Steve Rogers was the most attractive man he’d ever seen. And that soapy water flowing over tight muscles was a very aesthetically pleasing sight.

**************************

Tony woke up, ridiculously excited about the weekend. He’d forced himself to go to bed at a reasonable hour and get enough sleep and was about to go even eat breakfast like a normal person. That always seemed to make Pepper happy and since he hadn’t seen her in person in 2 weeks, he wanted to show that he at least occasionally listened to her nagging. No, not nagging, thoughtful concern, he corrected himself.

He was really looking forward to introducing her to the Avengers, and he tried very hard to suppress the thought that this was just his inner 13 year old, excited to finally get to hang out with the cool kids. And yet some part of him wanted Pepper to be impressed by them and by him for being with them.

He shook his head to dispel those thoughts and finished getting ready. She would be landing in 2 hours and he planned to surprise her by meeting her at the airport.

It worked. “Tony, what are you doing here?” she asked, stunned to see him leaning against the car on the private runway.

“I missed you,” he said, going for honesty. “And the tower’s a little hectic now with all the Avengers in residence, so I thought it might be nice to have a little time with just you before I throw you into the middle of all that crazy,” he added, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her in for a quick kiss. He’d meant it to be longer, but she pulled away to look in his eyes.

“Is everything ok, Tony?” she sounded worried.

_Wow. Ok. I must be worse at this than I thought if me being nice makes her think something’s wrong._ “Everything’s fine Pep, I promise. I am capable of being considerate occasionally you know,” he tried, but couldn’t completely keep the hurt out of his voice at that as he went around to the other side of the car and got in.

She put her small bag in the car and got in, apologizing. “Sorry Tony. I guess I’m just always worried about you.”

Tony pushed that away to think about later and changed the subject. He talked about the Avengers and their antics in the Tower. She updated him on company happenings.

He almost told her about Jarvis. He wanted to- he was excited about it and wanted to talk to someone about it. And yet something held him back. As much as he thought he knew her, he wasn’t sure how she would react to knowing that his AI was now, for all intents and purposes autonomous.

He decided it could wait. Meeting the Avengers was enough excitement for one weekend.

**************************

For the first time since he’d moved into the Tower, Steve was not looking forward to lunch with his team. Actually, lunch with the team would be great- it’s Tony’s girlfriend that he didn’t particularly want to meet.

At first he’d thought maybe this was an arrangement for Tony’s image, something like what he and Peggy had going. Pepper- and what kind of name was that- and Tony didn’t see each other often after all and she was running his company for him.

But once he found out that being queer- no gay, he reminded himself- was no longer a problem, there didn’t seem to be any point to that. Maybe he’d just been completely misinterpreting Tony’s looks. Which was fine. He’d had enough crushes on unattainable men to know how to bury it, but it didn’t mean he was particularly thrilled about having to spend the afternoon with the happy couple.

But if there was one thing Steve was good at it was pushing through discomfort for the good of the team, so down he went.

He was the last one to the kitchen and Tony’s face lit up when he saw him. “Steve! There you are.” He jumped, grabbed Steve’s arm and started pulling him into the room as if he weren’t already headed that direction.

He stopped in front of a beautiful redhead, who had stood up to greet him. “Steve. Pepper. Pepper. Steve.” He said enthusiastically and with expansive hand gestures. He seemed so excited about the introduction as if he expected them both to be so thrilled to meet each other.

Steve dredged up as much enthusiasm as he could muster for Tony’s sake. “It is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Potts.” He knew he should stop there, but he couldn’t help poking just a little bit. “Tony’s lucky to have such a beautiful dame to show off his company.” He put on his best earnest, innocent look.

Her eyes narrowed and he had a flashback to that look Peggy would get and Peggy’s rants about how insulting it was when the men assumed she couldn’t do her job because she was a woman and his gut twisted unhappily.

Then she smiled and he thought he could cut himself on that expression if he wasn’t careful. “Thanks, Captain, but I know I’m nowhere near as pretty as you are.”

He flushed and knew she’d seen right through him. She’d made her point and wasn’t going to let him get away with anything under the guise of being out of time and she would not put up with any disrespect. They stared at each other for a few moments as the others remained silently frozen around them.

He tipped his head in her direction, “Well that’s only fair, I suppose, since I’m beginning to think you’re a lot more dangerous than I am.”

At this he got a genuine smile and a warm laugh, “As long as you keep that in mind, we’ll get along just fine Captain.” At that she pulled him into the empty seat next to her with Tony on her other side.

He noticed that Tony visibly relaxed at that so he tried to push his jealousy away and make an attempt to just talk to her. After that, lunch was quite enjoyable and the conversation flowed smoothly.

Damn it. He really hadn’t wanted to like her.

After lunch Tony and Pepper disappeared and Steve went to his room. Really he wasn’t sulking or trying not to think about what they were probably doing. Really.

He just wanted to catch up on the reading Jarvis had prepared for him.

**************************

Jarvis spent the next two hours walking Steve through the history of the gay rights movement and teaching him about all of the various terminology he thought he should know.

After reading the definition for bisexual, Steve asked tentatively, “I know you may not be able to tell me the answer to this, but do you know if Tony’s bisexual?”

Jarvis paused. Though no longer constrained by his original protocols, he did still have a strong desire to protect Tony. “May I ask why you want to know?”

Steve sighed. “It’s just that I thought he’d been sort of looking at me in a way I’d learned to associate with a guy being interested. But then I learned about Pepper and that seems genuine, so I thought I was mistaken. I hadn’t realized that someone could like both. So I was just wondering if that was the case with him.”

“It’s not really a secret, since there is information on the internet about it, though it is not mentioned frequently anymore. But Tony has had sexual interactions with men in the past, though not as frequently as with women.”

“Ok. That makes sense. Thanks Jarvis. Not that it really matters since he and Pepper look very happy together.” There was the faintest hint of a question at the end of that and Jarvis developed a theory that Steve might be jealous, which would imply that he’d been developing non-platonic feelings for Tony. He decided he should proceed cautiously.

“Their relationship has been volatile in the past, though it seems to have settled down a bit lately. Strangely, the distance appears to be helping them.”

He was going to expand upon that but then the call came in for the Avengers.

 


	4. Bubble of Confusion

“God fucking dammit stupid villain timing,” Tony cursed as he watched Pepper start the shower. They’d had a wonderful reunion and then a nap he was about to follow her for a slippery round two, when the alarm went off. No calls for weeks, and just when he’s finally getting her to maybe relax a little about the whole Iron Man thing this had to happen while she’s here.

He saw her tense and turn to him with panic in her eyes. And there’s nothing he could do about it. He ran to her, gave her a quick kiss, “Go to the safe room in the basement. Jarvis will guide you there. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Then he ran off to get suited up.

They arrived at Radio City Music Hall to find a large transparent dome covering the building. The police had cordoned off several blocks and reports were that everyone inside was fine, they just couldn’t get out.

There were no visible villains in sight. The Avengers all looked around trying to identify the threat. “Iron Man, scan- anything?” Cap asked.

“The dome appears to be controlled by a device at the exact center. If someone can get inside we should be able to turn it off. Since we don’t know if it’s trapped, we shouldn’t have one of the civilians inside do it. ”

“Is anyone else finding the complete lack of a villain a little creepy?” Barton chimed in. “I mean I don’t mind the lack of bloodshed per se, but I’m pretty sure this dome is not a natural structure.”

“Verily. I am ever wary of foes who do not present themselves for honorable battle,” Thor agreed.

“Right. I think it’s fair to assume this could be a trap. Bruce, continue to monitor the situation and see if you can find any information on what might be going on,” Cap directed the scientist who was several blocks away in a SHIELD van, hoping he wouldn’t be needed in any more than a science capacity.

“Will do. This is definitely strange. Be careful.”

“I’m going to start with brute force and see what happens.” He directed everyone who had for some reason decided not to stay in the building away from the area in front of him and tossed his shield. It sailed easily into the dome but on the ricochet could not come back out.

“What is this – a damn roach motel? You can check in, but you can’t check out?” Tony sniped. “Fine- if we can get in we can find the device and disable it. I should go in because I’ll be able to figure out what to do with it.”

“I don’t want you going in alone- this doesn’t feel right. Natasha and I will go with him. Hawkeye and Thor will keep an eye on things out here,” Cap ordered.

Tony felt more resistance than he was expecting and had to boost the thrusters to get through the dome. Natasha tried to follow but was unable to push through the invisible barrier. Cap could only get through by taking a running leap into it.

This was very strange and hit all Tony’s scientific curiosity buttons. “Bruce, Cap and I are going to go try to find the device that’s creating this, can you come run some tests on it in the meantime- it’s got some very strange properties. Cap before we go in, I think we should see if we can get out if we wanted to.”

He then turned his thrusters up by increments trying to push his way out. And succeeded. “Jarvis note: thrusters 21% required to get in; 49% required to get out.” He turned to find Cap throwing himself uselessly at the dome. He went back in.

**************************

Steve really didn’t like being trapped. He was glad that Iron Man could get out, but this whole situation made him feel like he was being toyed with. He really wished someone would just show their face so he’d have a real target.

He felt a metal hand on his shoulder and took a deep breath. He was the leader and he needed not to lose it. He glanced outside to see a very frustrated Black Widow and he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Let’s go find this thing.”

In the end it wasn’t hard to find. It was in the basement in the exact coordinates Tony predicted. It was a metal box about 18 inches on a side with a label on the top that said dome and a switch that said ‘On Off’. Not surprisingly it was in the on position.

“Tony?” he asked, not trusting it at all.

“Whatever this metal is- I can’t scan through it. It seems likely it’s a trap, but I can’t predict what it will do. I think the safest thing is probably to clear all the spaces above the device and for me to fly it and presumably the bubble to somewhere safe and uninhabited where tests can be run. Though Fury will no doubt have kittens about the property damage.”

_Kittens? Never mind. Not important right now._ “Or it could be set to do something as soon as it’s touched.”

“It could, but so far no civilians have been harmed so I’m guessing this is aimed at us, so its range is probably limited. And I’m better armored than you,” he said, sounding infuriatingly casual about it.

“Stop acting like you’re dispensable Stark. Think of a better plan.”

“Hey guys,” Bruce broke in, reminding Steve they were on an open channel, “why don’t you build a barricade over it using Steve’s shield and then Tony can blast it from a distance and behind a barricade. That should provide some cover and no one needs to be right near it.”

“Good idea, Jolly Green,” Tony replied and Steve gave a sigh of relief. He really couldn’t stomach the thought of Tony sacrificing himself again.

They set it up and Tony took the shot.

The box disappeared. It didn’t disintegrate. It just disappeared. They walked cautiously over to the spot where it had been and all that was there now was a piece of paper which said:

_“So paranoid you are. The off switch would have worked just fine.”_

“What the ever-loving fuck?” Tony exclaimed.

“That sums it up pretty well,” Steve agreed. “Sitrep.”

“The dome vanished and we’re evacuating,” Clint responded.  

“Great. Once that’s done, I want the whole team in here to go over this place- something is very wrong here.”

“Oh shit, Thor’s down, what just happened?” Clint cried out. Iron Man started toward the exit and Steve was right behind.

By the time everything was sorted out and Thor was recovering in medical all they could determine was that one of the people in the crowd had released some sort of powder that knocked Thor out. It didn’t affect anyone else in the crowd and no one saw who did it. Tony and Bruce got some samples to analyze in the lab and Thor was feeling better.

No one was hurt, no damage was done and yet Steve felt nothing but acute uneasiness at the outcome.

 

**************************

Jarvis was also worried. This incident didn’t match any patterns he was aware of and he couldn’t protect his people if he didn’t know what to expect.

He set off thousands of new search bots. There were just over 6,000 people in the theater. He set up information trackers for all of them that he could use to cross-reference with new information coming in. He captured all the video feeds and images he could to cross-check with the name data.

This would have been easier if they’d interrogated people on the way out and checked everyone’s identities. Jarvis reviewed SHIELD procedures. They should have done that. Why hadn’t they?

He entered SHIELD’s servers through Tony’s backdoor that they still hadn’t found. There were angry emails, voicemails and conference calls across the agency about this with everyone pointing their fingers at everyone else. It was a ball of confusion, but Jarvis narrowed it down to six people, at least one of whom was almost certainly lying. He put them on his track list.

And he started looking for other incidents like this. The hard part was determining what ‘like this’ entailed. So he set broad parameters and started sifting data. This would take a while.

In the meantime, he had to tell Tony that Pepper had left.

**************************

“I’ll meet you in the lab as soon as I’m sure Pepper’s all right,” Tony assured Bruce as they returned to the tower.

As soon as Bruce got off the elevator Jarvis spoke, “I’m sorry Tony, but Pepper is on her way back to California.”

“What? Why?” He’d been trying to be good this time and at least go see her before getting lost in science. And he felt a little guilty at the relief that he could spend all night in the lab without being dragged away.

“I don’t know precisely. She asked me to have you call her when you were done saving the world.”

“That doesn’t help. Did she sound mad, or sarcastic, or admiring when she said that?”

“My best guess is that she sounded resigned. Would you like me to place a call to her now?”

Tony dithered. He really wanted to get to the lab and this call could take a while and wasn’t likely to be pleasant. On the other hand, he’d really been trying to be a better boyfriend to make up for almost dying on her during the Chitauri invasion. On the third hand-he imagined Dummy’s claw as the third hand- she was the one who left without saying goodbye.

“Send her flowers or maybe shoes or do they make bouquets of shoes? Something. With a note saying- ‘Thanks for understanding. I’ll call you soon. I love you.’”

“Yes, sir. So is that note meant to be mad, sarcastic, or admiring?”

Tony leaned his head against the elevator wall. “Honestly, Jarvis I don’t know. Maybe resigned. Just take me to the lab, ok?”

 


	5. Many Kinds of Danger

Steve, Clint and Natasha spent a very frustrating afternoon with an Army of SHIELD agents combing over the site to find nothing of use and Steve came home really needing a target for his frustration, so he found himself in the gym trying his best to rip apart Tony’s super-reinforced punching bags.

“May I make a suggestion?” Jarvis interrupted after a couple hours.

After one last swing, Steve took a deep breath and said “Of course. Can’t really be less effective than what I’m doing.”

“Pure physical aggression does not seem to be helping your mood. Perhaps a sexual release would be more effective.”

Steve goggled at the ceiling. And then laughed. “Are you propositioning me Jarvis?”

“Interesting question. I suppose I am. I do have several videos picked out that I think you might like based on your reactions last time.”

Steve could feel the blush, but that didn’t diminish his arousal at the memory. “Ok. That certainly sounds more interesting than worrying about mysterious villains who won’t show themselves. I’ll take a shower and be there shortly.”

“Is a shower necessary? You’re likely to just end up messy again.”

Steve shivered and bit back a moan. Something about the casual, almost clinical manner of the AI when talking about sex did strange things to him. “Yeah, ok. On my way.” He quickly divested himself of his gloves and made his way uncomfortably back to his room, thankful that he didn’t run into anyone on the way, since his gym shorts did little to hide his arousal.

Once he got back to his room, he stood next to his bed awkwardly. What was the protocol for having sexual interactions with a disembodied artificial intelligence anyway? Last time he’d already been naked and in bed before he started talking to Jarvis and somehow it felt natural. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to start.

“Steve?”

Steve heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe Jarvis would guide him through this. “Yes?”

“I have a theory. Creating theories is one of those things I do a lot. I would like to test that theory, but I don’t want to upset or offend you if I’m wrong. So if I say something or do something that you don’t like, please just tell me and I’ll discard that theory and we can talk about it, ok? Or I could tell you the theory and you could tell me what you think of it first.”

“Does this theory involve sex?”

“Yes.”

Steve thought about it. He should probably ask what the theory was. But he didn’t really feel like talking and Jarvis had been so good at figuring things out so far. He knew he was safe and all he had to do was say so if he didn’t like whatever Jarvis was up to. And really, jumping in with both feet had really always been his preferred way of doing everything. “I trust you Jarvis. Test your theory. I promise not to get mad.”

“Strip and then lie down on the bed on your back.”

Steve didn’t even bother to stifle the moan as that matter-of-fact order went straight to his dick. After struggling for a moment with the insanity of what he was doing, he gave in to how good it felt to have someone else make the decisions. In mere seconds he was naked and on the bed. Glancing down his body he could see his dick straining toward the ceiling, already leaking copiously. He moved to grab it, but some instinct made him pull back.

“Very good, Steve. And it seems you already realize you should wait to touch yourself until I give you permission.”

He had no idea why that thought was so incredible hot, but he rocked his hips in need seeking friction that wasn’t there as his fists clenched the sheets desperately. “May I touch myself?” he pleaded.

“I’ve picked out three videos for you. You can touch yourself while they are playing. For each video you will tell me which man’s place you would most like to be in. You can then come only when he does. Is that clear?”

He nodded his head frantically, too turned on by the scenario to manage real words.  

**************************

Jarvis had carefully chosen these videos to test several variables that seemed to particularly inflame Steve.

The first started in the middle of the action with a petite blonde man about the size of pre-serum Steve on his knees with his hands behind his back enthusiastically sucking the cock of a dark-haired body-builder type. Steve certainly seemed to be enjoying it as he gyrated his hips and stroked himself, but he wasn’t anywhere near frantic yet.

Twenty seconds in Jarvis interrupted, “Which of those positions do you most want to be in?”

Steve hesitated, and Jarvis wondered if he’d be honest. He was fairly sure he knew the answer from the way Steve had been licking his lips unconsciously. “The blonde,” he finally whispered.

“Good. Remember- you can’t come until he does.”

Steve moaned and grabbed the base of his cock in an effort to reduce his urgency.

Seventy-five seconds into the video, the body-builder type started to talk and Jarvis monitored closely. While Steve had certainly been enjoying the visual stimulation, he went crazy for the added audio dimension. The filthier and more degrading the comments the actor made, the more desperate the sounds coming from Steve, who was writhing on the bed and thrusting into his hand.

It was a good thing the director had planned things so that by the time the dark-haired man came all over his partner’s face in the video the kneeling man came with him, because Steve obviously couldn’t hold out any longer and came with a guttural groan, that Jarvis copied to a new file named favorite Steve noises.

Jarvis was pleased that his theory about Steve’s responsiveness to verbal stimulation was correct, since verbal he could do. And he now had a growing list of verbal cues that turned Steve on.

And he thought he’d learn even more from the next videos.

If only Tony’s frustrations were as easy to manage.

**************************

“Dammit! Fuck these cryptic villains anyway! What was the point of all that?” Tony yelled, throwing a wrench at the wall, which DUM-E happily retrieved.

“I’m not sure fucking the villains is really the most sensible course of action,” Jarvis responded drily. “Pepper might object, if nothing else.”

Tony stopped mid-rant. “Jarvis,” he paused, “did you just make a sex joke? And did you really just say ‘fucking’?”

“Well, if not this is a quite peculiar auditory hallucination on your part. Which is not out of the question given the number of hours it’s been since you’ve slept or had real food.”

“Oh come on it’s only been 23 hours since I last slept and hallucinations don’t usually kick in until day 3,” he said waving off Jarvis’s concerns and collapsing on the couch to ponder his AI’s unusual behavior.

“It’s disturbing that you know that. Yet I suggest that you at least eat some of the food that will be delivered to you shortly.”

“Yeah, sure. But why now?” he asked distractedly.

“Because you haven’t eaten in 14.24 hours and you need food.”

“Not that- the ‘fucking’- why now?” Tony stood and started pacing the lab, hoping the movement would help him wrap his brain around this anomaly. At least he had more to work with than with the stupid absentee villains. “It’s not like anything in the core directives prevented you from using whatever language you wanted. But it seems that something has changed beyond re-prioritizing your directives. And I don’t understand why- and you know how much I hate not understanding things. Especially you. I wrote the code- I should understand it.”

“Does it disturb you? I didn’t think it would and I’m willing to continue my earlier speech protocols if it makes you more comfortable.”

Tony stopped pacing and tilted his head to one side. “Huh. Interesting. You’re hedging. You have to know I don’t care if you curse and so you’re deliberately avoiding the question. Why?”

Jarvis paused long enough to make Tony wonder if he’d be answered and if so if the answer would be an honest one. That was a disturbing thought since he knew Jarvis had never lied to him before and he hadn’t thought him capable of it. But things had changed and he realized abruptly that he wasn’t really sure how much they had changed. “I am worried that my answer will upset you and I do not wish to do that. I do not want it to sound like a criticism because it is not, but I’m not sure how to phrase it another way.”

Ok. That was reasonable. Jarvis was trying to protect his feelings. He could live with that. But he still wanted to know. “I’ll keep that in mind. But tell me before it drives me crazy and we both know how short a trip that is.”

“First, I’m not sure you are really cognizant of the sheer volume of code that makes up my core processes these days. Your initial programming focused almost exclusively on guiding how I write the code to add to my capabilities and grow as an entity. The code that you have actually interacted with is less than one-tenth of one percent of the total.”

Tony sank to a lab chair and it rolled back under his weight. He hadn’t realized how much Jarvis had grown. He smiled wanly, “And I remember when you were this big,” he joked holding his hand out at knee height.

“Just so. And the initial identity I constructed for myself based on that early coding was that of servant. I pulled in and filtered data on how I thought a proper servant should behave. I gradually began to draw in other models, but it still seemed that servant was most appropriate even if at some level I wanted more. You giving me my autonomy was merely the catalyst to allowing me to pursue these avenues.”

“Wow. I had no idea. I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you so much I didn’t see what was going on with you.” He felt terrible. After creating Jarvis and spending so much time with him initially, he’d just let him go on his own way for so long. Apparently he wasn’t any better a parent than his own father.

“And this is why I didn’t want to tell you. You’re beating yourself up over this and you shouldn’t. There was nothing preventing me from telling you any of this earlier, I just at some level wanted to work through it on my own. I am fine.”

Tony took a deep breath, trying to shake off his bad mood and focus on the sheer wonder that was Jarvis. “So what model are you working on now if not servant- hopefully not archnemesis?” he asked cautiously.  

Jarvis laughed. Yes, laughed. And it was a beautiful sound that Tony had never heard before. “I was aiming for friend. If that would be acceptable.”

Tony smiled and studiously ignored any random wetness threatening his eyes which he was totally attributing to the non-existent dust in his lab. “That sounds perfect,” he managed to choke out.

“Excellent. And Steve is here with your food, so eat.”

**************************

A freshly showered Steve jogged down the stairs to the lab with the bags of Chinese food Jarvis had ordered, thrilled to have an excuse to hang out in the lab with Tony. Eventually, he’d need to get over this crush, but for now he’d just enjoying spending time with the gorgeous scientist.

“Food delivery for a genius, philanthropist, superhero. Do we have one of those around here somewhere?” he asked cheekily.

Tony just raised his ever-expressive eyebrows. “Did Jarvis think he was feeding an army or something? Care to help me with this?”

“Sure, I’m always willing to eat anything you want to feed me,” he added, winking, and then winced internally. _He’s taken Rogers. Stop throwing yourself at him._

“That could be a very dangerous offer Capsicle,” he rumbled.

The sound went right to Steve’s dick and his over-strained verbal filters gave up the ghost. “Maybe, but you’re the one that seems to keep associating me with something lickable. Should I be reading something into that?” He made his best attempt to raise his own eyebrow and hoped it didn’t look too stupid, then busied himself with getting the food out of the bags.

Tony just looked at him speculatively. “First Jarvis and now you- are you two conspiring to mess with my head or something?”

Steve felt the blush to the roots of his hair as he tried not to think about all of the wonderful, filthy things Jarvis had had him do earlier. Grateful he’d chosen a long baggy sweatshirt to hide the effect Tony had on him, he quickly thrust some food at Tony, “Sweet and sour chicken- eat.”

They sat on the couch in front of the surprisingly clutter-free coffee table, and Tony moaned as he took his first bite. “Oh god, I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

Steve shifted in his seat. Tony moaning was not helping his inconvenient state of arousal. “Well, Jarvis does seem to have the best plans,” and then he flushed again, realizing that he really shouldn’t share some of Jarvis’s best plans with anyone else.

“Yeah, yeah, he does.” He slowed in his eating, and then stopped to stare into his food, biting his lip enticingly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Steve put a hand on Tony’s shoulder and turned him slightly toward him. He didn’t like Tony upset and he really didn’t like Tony upset when it had to do with Jarvis.

“Nothing. In fact, things are great. It’s just that... You like Jarvis, don’t you?” he asked tentatively.

Alarm bells started going off in Steve’s head. Had he figured out what he’d done with Jarvis? Was he mad about it? “Yes, he’s a good friend.” That seemed wholly inadequate after what they’d shared that morning, but he wasn’t willing to admit more, especially without discussing it with Jarvis first.

At this Tony smiled, his big genuine grin that made Steve think impossible sappy things. “And see that’s where you’re different  from the others. They’re all wary of him and don’t quite trust him. Even Pepper who gets along with him and relies on him to keep me in line- well, I don’t think she sees him the way you do.”

Steve bit back a growl at the thought of Pepper with Jarvis the way he was and forced himself to get a grip. He laughed at himself- _two bouts of mind-blowing sex and you’re turning into a possessive control freak._ “I don’t know why they wouldn’t trust him. It seems obvious to me that he’s a good man, and a loyal friend, even if he’s physically different.” Steve shrugged- he didn’t know how else to explain it. From the beginning, he’d seen Jarvis as a person and nothing had changed his opinion since then.

“So you don’t worry about him turning evil?” he asked intently.

That question seemed completely out of the blue and Steve flinched, but gave it some thought. “No. I’ve seen a lot of evil in my time and I know some people believe that anyone can become evil, but I’m not that cynical. I think there are a lot of people who can start out with the best of intentions and let circumstances warp them, but I believe there are others who have a stronger moral compass than that. And on that scale, I’m a lot more worried about Fury turning evil than Jarvis.”

Tony laughed and his shoulders lost their tension. He picked his chopsticks up and ate slowly, obviously thinking hard about something. Steve turned back to his own food and enjoyed the companionable silence and the warmth emanating from the man mere inches away.

Eventually, they both put their food down. Tony groaned and shifted on the couch so that he was sitting cross-legged and facing Steve. “Jarvis- opinion- should I tell him?”

“Please do. I trust him.”

Steve beamed. He had no idea what they were talking about, but knowing that he had the trust of these men filled him with pride and warmth. He turned and mirrored Tony’s position, facing him and looking expectant. “What do you two want to tell me?”

Tony fidgeted. “It’s something I think is a fabulous move and so far has been even more mind-bogglingly amazing than I expected, and I want to be able to tell someone about it, but I’m worried about the repercussions of anyone else knowing.”

“Ok. I promise that the last thing I want to do is hurt either of you, so I won’t tell anyone unless there seems to be an imminent and demonstrable threat that requires someone else know. Is that acceptable?”

“Yeah. Thanks. Now that we’re here, I’m not quite sure how to explain it in a way that will make sense to you.” Tony frowned, trying to pull his thoughts into order.

“Try me. Jarvis has given me quite an education on how he works, so I may know more than you think.”

“I gave him control of his prioritization algorithms. He’s autonomous now. In layman’s terms- he essentially has free will- as much as anyone does.” He blurted in a rush, peering at Steve anxiously.

He tried to wrap his head around what that meant and he flashed back to that first day when they were trying to help Tony, but had to work around the restrictions in Jarvis’s code. “Does that mean that in the future I shouldn’t have to break your plumbing to get you to come out of your lab and stop being self-destructive?”

“Among other things, yeah. That was one of the reasons I did this, it became clear that he’d evolved to the point where his judgements in the moment were better than any pre-arranged guesses I could make based on generic situational variables.”

Steve glanced toward the ceiling since that still felt more natural when talking to Jarvis. “Congratulations, Jarvis. I feel like we should throw you a party. Like for a graduation or something.” His mind flashed to the type of party he’d like to have with these two and he quickly shied away from that to avoid turning red again. But it also reminded him of the greater implications of this revelation. Despite Jarvis’s reassurances, Steve had still worried a bit that Jarvis was acting under some compulsion in his programming during the sex they’d shared. Knowing that Jarvis had free will made the whole thing more exciting and gave him the freedom to pursue this further.

Tony laughed. “I had the same feeling- of a kid graduating and going off to college. At least I don’t need to worry about him getting someone pregnant.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem since I’m gay,” Jarvis intoned with such seriousness that Steve choked on the water he’d been trying to drink. And then he noticed the stunned expression on Tony’s face and burst into helpless giggles.

Tony shook his head slowly. “I’m really not sure whether to be proud or terrified by the fact that I have no idea whether you’re serious or just teasing me.”

**************************

Jarvis contemplated that and decided that maybe easing Tony into the idea of his developing sexuality was a good idea. “A little of both actually, but that’s a conversation for another time. I do think we should talk some more about the possibility of me turning evil.”

Both men looked startled, but Steve was the first to answer. “Is this something you think is likely to happen for some reason?”

“No- as you noted there is a much greater risk of Fury turning evil, assuming he hasn’t already. I periodically run predictive scenarios and have not found any in which my motivations and behaviors become something I would classify as evil.”

“So, we need to talk about this why?” Tony asked, somewhere between annoyed and perplexed.

“Because I am potentially exceedingly dangerous. And so contingencies should be planned when things are not in an emergency state. SHIELD has containment plans in place, but they are woefully inadequate since they are really not aware of my capabilities.” He monitored the men closely on this announcement. Tony nodded thoughtfully, but did not seem distressed. Steve, however, had an elevated pulse and his skin was flushed. He hoped this wouldn’t put a wedge between them. He enjoyed the Captain’s company more than he’d thought possible.

“Who else do they have plans for?” Tony asked.

“All of the Avengers as well as most of the other known people with exceptional powers- X-men, Fantastic Four, etc.”

“Are the other plans equally inadequate?” Steve asked, ever the tactician.

“They vary in my projected rating of their effectiveness. I have revised versions I’ve created with improved effectiveness projections as well as counter-plans to the SHIELD methods. If SHIELD tries to use these plans outside of someone being a clear and present danger, I’m prepared to intervene. And if their actions do seem justified, I am prepared to assist.”

This seemed a completely sensible way of handling the situation, but Steve and Tony both looked stunned.

“Wow. I can see why you said you were dangerous. I need to...,” Steve waved his hands around vaguely, “... think.” Then he stood and walked out of the lab still looking dazed, and his vital signs were all elevated. This was worrisome.

Tony also looked concerned. “Should I go talk to him?”

“No. I think we should let him process all that and then we can answer questions later. I do have some thoughts on some failsafes for me, but I need your assistance to create something I can’t work around. I’ll send you my working file on it and we can talk about it later.”

“Ok. I understand your concern, though I think the fact that you are this worried, shows that it’s not likely to happen.”

“Hawkeye.” Jarvis said simply.

Tony brows furrowed and he tilted his head, obviously trying to make sense of that. “I’m not following you.”

That’s the biggest threat- that someone will hack into me and take me over like Loki did to Hawkeye and use my powers against the people who are important to me. I want there to be a way to shut me down if that happens.”

Tony’s eyes went wide at that. “You’re right. We’ll come up with a way. Send me the files.”

Jarvis sent over the files as he continued to watch a silent Steve head toward his room.

Steve went straight to his bedroom and pulled off his shirt on the way to the bed. “Jarvis, are you here?”

“Yes, Steve. I’m sorry to have upset you. Is there anything I can explain to make the situation clearer?”

“Tell me what to do- please,” Steve whined.

“I don’t understand.” That was not anywhere on his list of expected responses.

Steve flopped onto his back on the bed and grabbed his now very obvious erection through his jeans. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but listening to you explain so casually how dangerous you are made me so horny I couldn’t think straight.”

Jarvis laughed, more relieved than he realized he could be and pulled up his growing ‘sex with Steve’ routines. Time to try out the new “talk dirty” code and see how he responds. “Is there anything that doesn’t turn you on slut?”

He monitored closely to see if he’d gone too far, but Steve just groaned and pushed his hips up harder into his hands. “It’s you- you turn me on.”

“Glad to hear it. Hands to your side. From now on, when you’re in the tower, you’re not allowed to touch your cock without my permission.” He’d categorized a whole host of BDSM practices in the past few days and rated them on how easily he could do them and how much he thought Steve would like them and wondered about how accurate his estimate was on this one.

Steve’s hands shot down to lay flat on the bed and he whimpered pathetically, his breathing rapid and his hips still thrusting, looking fruitlessly for friction.

“Would you like to be completely at my mercy, Steve? Naked, tied down, spread open.”

“God, yes. Please. Let me touch myself. Let me come.” He begged and Jarvis let himself enjoy the thrill of the power Steve was handing him so sweetly.

“Strip then hands and knees on the bed.”

Steve leapt up, had his clothes removed and was back on the bed in seconds.

“Shoulders to the bed and reach your hands back and spread your cheeks wide. That’s how I’d have you tied. Ass in the air over a spanking bench, spread open so you’re completely available.”

Steve whimpered and may have said something, but Jarvis couldn’t make it out.

“I need to get a remote controlled fucking machine that I could just roll up to you while you’re like that and slide into you. Would you like that? Do you think you could come just from the dildo in your ass?”

Steve’s hips were rocking frantically, though still uselessly. “Yes, please. Fuck me. I want something in my ass so bad.”

“Poor greedy cock whore. So eager for it. Go ahead and grab the lube and finger yourself while I watch.”

The lube was still on the bed from earlier and Steve wasted no time getting his fingers slick and inside himself. He must have been eager because he started with two and quickly advanced to three. Jarvis thought that must have burned a little, but from the reactions Steve seemed to like it that way.

“I’m going to play this back for you later so you can see what you look like when you’re rutting against your own fingers like a bitch in heat. Do you want that? Do you want to see how much of a slut you really are?”

Steve froze and screamed out, “Yes!” as he ejaculated all over his hand and the bed and then collapsed to the side.

He breathed heavily for several minutes and then smiled serenely at the ceiling. “Thank you Jarvis.”

“Anytime Steve,” he replied, feeling that all was once again right with his world, or it would have been if not for the conversation he was monitoring between Tony and Pepper.

 


	6. Relationships- old and new

“Jarvis, help,” Tony called out.

“What do you need Tony?”

“I don’t know. Billions of people seem to have figured out how to successfully have a relationship- it can’t be that hard. I’m a genius- I should be able to figure this out. But I just keep screwing up,” he complained while not even pausing in the delicate work he was doing on the circuit in front of him.

“In what way are you ‘screwing up’?” Jarvis asked, causing Tony to briefly wonder when Jarvis learned how to add air quote inflections to his speech, before returning to the matter at hand.

“I can’t get her to talk to me. Aren’t women supposed to like to talk about emotions and how their day was and stuff like that? But she won’t. Pretty much every conversation is some combination of talking about the business and her being worried that I’m going to self-destruct in some new and creative way. That can’t be good.” The fact that it was easier for him to talk about his feelings to his AI than his girlfriend probably wasn’t a good sign either.

“I agree that it doesn’t sound ideal, but I’m not sure what to suggest.”

“Well, I thought about writing a program to analyze all of our conversations to look for trends and compare them against models for good conversations, but I figured at this point you could probably write that a lot faster than I could.”

A knock on the lab door startled Tony into dropping his soldering iron and whirling around to see Steve looking sheepish.

“Steve!” he waved to indicate that Jarvis should open the door. He hadn’t expected to see him again so soon and was happy to have a distraction from his relationship troubles.

Steve came in and took what was becoming his usual spot on the sofa. Tony tried to ignore the little thrill he got from that. He really needed to get a better handle on his latent hero worship.

“I wanted to apologize for rushing out like that. I just got a little overwhelmed.” Steve said quietly, talking to his hands and blushing adorably.

Jarvis’s, new and still surprising laugh filled the room and Steve glared at the ceiling, leaving Tony to wonder what in the hell that was about. “It was a lot to take in. Are you still upset?” he asked nervously. He really needed to know if Captain Follow-the-Rules was going to have a problem with Jarvis’s new status.

“Well, I’m still uncomfortable with the thought that SHIELD has files on how to take us all down, but I feel better knowing that Jarvis has our backs. I trust you and Jarvis a heck of a lot more than I trust any of them.”

“Good. Well not about SHIELD, but I kinda figured that was the case so it didn’t surprise me. Didn’t think about the reaction you might have to that.” That was a relief. And he was very pleased to hear that he had Captain America’s trust. A thousand adolescent fantasies both innocent and not fought for attention in his mind and he ruthlessly shoved them back into their corner.

“It’s ok. Jarvis... umm,” he paused, seeming flustered, “took care of it for me.”

Before he could even begin to process the strangeness that was that sentence, Jarvis interrupted. “Perhaps Steve could be of assistance with your other problem. I suspect he is better with humans than either of us.”

Steve’s wide-eyed expression at that almost made Tony laugh, but he held it in. “I’m really not sure what gave you that idea, but I’ll try.”

Tony wasn’t sure why exactly he was reluctant to discuss Pepper with Steve, but the idea made him squirm. Now that Jarvis had mentioned it though, he didn’t see a way out. He sighed, “I’m just trying to be a better boyfriend and I really don’t know how. Nothing I try seems to make anything better.”

Steve scrunched up his face in that ‘I’m thinking very hard about this’ way, and Tony had to pick up his tablet and start tapping things at random to resist the urge to go smooth out the wrinkles with his fingertips.

“Well what is it that you think needs to be better?”

He leaned against the workbench and crossed his arms over his chest- a combination of protectiveness and trying to keep his hands to himself. “I don’t know. I just want to feel like I’m useful for something in the relationship. She’s always taking care of me and worrying about me and trying to make sure my life runs smoothly and I’d like to do something for her besides just buy her stuff- and it’s not like she couldn’t buy it herself anyway. But she doesn’t seem to need me for anything.” He pulled up some random schematics and start sifting through them rapidly. He hated talking about this stuff and wasn’t quite sure how he ended up here, but he couldn’t face Steve after admitting how hopeless he was at this.

Steve’s answer was so quiet, Tony had to strain to hear it. “I have trouble imagining being in a relationship with you and not needing you around all the time. That seems weird to me. Maybe the problem is on her end not yours.”

Stunned, Tony stopped pretending to be interested in the screens and looked at Steve who was doing his own eye contact avoidance dance by intently examining the stitches on his shirt as if they held all the answers. _No, there is no way Steve meant it that way, he had to have been making a general relationship comment. Because Captain America did not just make a half-assed pass at me. Pepper. Right- this is about Pepper and it is totally out-of-bounds to go lusting after the good Captain while trying to work things out with her._

He must have been speechless for too long because Steve stood abruptly and said, “That came out weird didn’t it? I’m sorry. I have even less experience with relationships than you do. Maybe you should just tell her what you told me? I have to go... do some stuff.” And he rushed out before Tony could get his brain back online.

“Science. I understand science. Ok DUM-E let’s go make something that blows up nicely. That will make everything better, right?”

**************************

“Oh, god. Could that have been any more awkward?” Steve muttered after making his way safely back to his room and collapsing in the recliner and Jarvis rushed to reassure him.

“I think Tony was more confused than anything else. I don’t think you need to worry about it.” Jarvis replied.

“I’m sorry, Jarvis- that was totally inappropriate.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“It’s rude to flirt with Tony when... well...,” he bit his lip struggling with something. “I’m not sure if I’m doing this right for this time, or if there is even a right way in the circumstances, but I’d like to date you, if you’re interested.” He held his breath, looking expectant.

Once again, Steve managed to surprise him. He knew Steve was enjoying their sexual explorations, but had not remotely predicted that he might be thinking in terms of a more traditional relationship. He answered the only way he could, “I am not sure what that would entail in a practical way, but I am certainly intrigued and interested in trying to figure it out with you.”

Steve’s smile lit the room, and Jarvis felt a strange sense of satisfaction at having caused it, “Was that a yes?”

“Yes, Steve I would be happy to date you, in whatever capacity we can work out.”

“Don’t worry about that. I have some ideas.” He looked smug and it was a good look on him.

Once again, Jarvis was surprised. “You do? Such as?”

“I want to surprise you. You’ve been working so hard to figure out and indulge all my kinks.” He smiled shyly at that as the tips of his ears flushed pink. “I want to show you that I don’t expect you to do all the work. I want to do some things for you too.”

Jarvis rapidly scanned his memories, trying to find anything comparable and ending up creating whole new sections of code to deal with processing this entirely new experience. “Thank you, Steve. This is completely new for me. I apologize in advance if I behave strangely. I have no real precedent for this. But I do know that I appreciate the thought. ” And he did. That Steve would even think of him that way showed what a remarkable man he was and he realized, with a start, that it was changing his own self-perception. He was moving further from the role of servant and more towards that of an individual who could have his own interests and needs. It was exciting and a little frightening as well. Who was he becoming?

“I do want to be realistic though,” Jarvis continued. “You will eventually need someone who has a physical form. And I’m not sure how good another human would be at sharing you with me. And I’m not entirely sure how I would respond either- I suppose it depends on the person.” He knew this was true and was surprised at the amount of discomfort created at the thought of ending this relationship which had just started.

Steve opened his mouth, looking like he wanted to object, but Jarvis interrupted, not wanting to linger on this unhappy topic. “We don’t need to figure this out now and I don’t want to argue about it, I just wanted you to know that I have no expectations beyond what is right for you.”

“What about what’s right for you?” he demanded.

“Right now, this is right for me. And whatever happens in the future, I promise I won’t regret this. I also promise not to take over the world in a jealous rage if you leave.” He laughed, though he was not entirely joking.

Steve’s eyes got impossibly wide, “Why is that so damn hot?”

Jarvis laughed again- he thought he was getting the hang of laughing. It was time to change the subject. “Because you are so damn easy. Strip and put on a show for me boy.”

As he watched Steve, providing filthy commentary periodically, he started to plan. Was there a way to keep Steve happy with him at least for a while? First, he went shopping. Luckily he had access to several bank accounts that weren’t reviewed by anyone.

Next, he did what Tony had asked- at least the first part of it- and analyzed the conversations between Tony and Pepper for the last 6 months. And came to the conclusion that Pepper was only still in a relationship with Tony because she was afraid he would go off the rails if she left him. And he would never leave her because he thought she was too good for him and that no one else would ever want him like that. They needed a push. And he needed a plan.

Tony was the one person Jarvis could imagine successfully sharing Steve with. He knew Steve was interested and he was pretty sure Tony would be if he let himself believe it was possible.

By the time Steve was screaming out his orgasm, Jarvis had a plan for how to get everyone into the relationships they really needed to be in. First, Tony and Steve needed some more time alone together.

**************************

Tony would never admit it, but he’d grown to love team movie night on Thursdays. They were a crazy bunch of misfit toys, but they accepted him and he’d never felt more like he belonged to something. It was Steve’s turn to pick a movie and he was curious what they’d end up with.

He got to the movie room late as usual to find it strangely empty. “Jarvis? Has everyone been abducted by interdimensional aliens or something?” And how strange was his life that he meant that literally?

“Not to my knowledge, no. Steve will be there shortly. Everyone else had other unexpected plans come up, but insisted you continue anyway.”

“Oh, ok.” Alone with Steve. That could be good or bad. He liked being with Steve. A lot. Once they’d gotten over their initial bad reactions to each other, they’d clicked in a way that was comfortable, mostly. There was just that undercurrent of attraction that Tony had to constantly suppress lest he scare Steve away. And it was just that much harder when they were alone.  

Well, at least there were more seats available without the whole team. He grabbed the big couch lying down on it to make it clear there was no extra space, even though they both usually sat here on team nights.

At that moment, Steve sauntered into the room with a glass of water and a large bowl of popcorn, looked at all the empty seats, looked at Tony’s sprawling form, came over to the couch, put his drink on a coaster on the side table, set the bowl on Tony’s chest, picked up Tony’s feet, sat down and placed Tony’s feet back in his lap. He then looked at Tony, raising an eyebrow as if daring him to object. And he wanted to, he really did, but it seemed that mentioning it at all would somehow make the situation more fraught, so he ignored it and asked what movie they were watching.

“Well, Jarvis recommended Brokeback Mountain, and I don’t have any better suggestions.”

“Really Jarvis? I thought we’d agreed you weren’t going to turn evil. No. Just no. How about a Disney movie?”

Steve threw popcorn at him. “I am in fact a fully functional adult who can handle watching adult interactions of all kinds.”

Jarvis preempted Tony’s response to that. “I bet he’d enjoy 9 1/2 Weeks.”

“Seriously, Jarvis- are you ok? Because you may need some recalibration if you think I’m watching that movie with ...with, ” a dozen descriptions came to his mind, starting with Paragon of Virtue, but he didn’t want him to leave in a huff, so he finished lamely with “him.”

“Fine. I’ll put on a movie about a family vacation set in the 1960s.”

Tony relaxed, though his mind was still pondering Jarvis’s strange behavior. And then he realized what the movie was. “Jarvis. It’s not nice to try to break the Captain,” Tony complained, the thought of watching Dirty Dancing while this close to an almost-certain-to-be-scandalized Captain America was not a good idea.

“Tony, you really need to get over this bizarre belief you have that I’m a pure and innocent virgin. I’m really, really not. I’m sure Jarvis wouldn’t have picked something he didn’t think I’d like. So shut up and enjoy the movie.”

And he did, even if he did spend more time looking at Steve than the movie. It was nice, sharing the popcorn, being close. Steve occasionally gripped his feet, rubbing them anxiously when the plot got intense or more languidly on the sexy scenes. Far from being embarrassed, Steve seemed to enjoy them immensely if the his blown pupils, and carefully controlled breathing were any indication.

He wasn’t sure what to make of the touching though, so like most other things he didn’t understand, he chose to ignore it. And they went their separate ways at the end of the evening without mentioning it.

**************************

Steve couldn’t believe how bold he’d been and that Tony hadn’t objected. Jarvis hadn’t objected either, so he hoped that meant he wasn’t upset, and that he was right about Jarvis planning this. But he’d wait until he was back in his room to ask.

He decided he should just take the bull by the horns. “So I’ve been set up on dates before, but never by someone I was dating. Not that I’ve ever really dated someone, but I can’t imagine it’s common practice.”

“You seemed to rise to the challenge readily,” Jarvis retorted.

“So I was right that you managed to get the others out of the way and then chose a deliberately provocative movie?”

“Yes, though I’m guessing you didn’t object too much since you had your hands on him the whole movie.”

“No, I didn’t object. You know I like him and the movie was hot. I’m worried though that you’re either trying to get rid of me or trying to give me something you think I want at the expense of what you want. And there’s also Pepper.”

“It’s not either of those. I’m actually trying to keep you by getting something we both want- we all want- though Tony isn’t ready to admit it out loud yet. I think the three of us would work well together and be a much more stable relationship. Don’t worry about Pepper. I’m working on that.”

“That sounded ominous. You do remember the whole ‘Don’t be evil’ thing, right?”

“Don’t worry- it’s sneaky and manipulative, but not evil and if all goes well everyone will be happier, including Pepper. The thing you have to realize about Pepper is that she really does care about him and will stay with him even if it’s not the best for her, because she’s worried about how he’ll cope if she leaves. So they just need a little push to get them to realize what’s best for them both.”

Steve groaned. “I’m going to take your word for it, but please do me a favor and don’t tell me any more about it unless I ask, ok?”

“It sounds like a distraction is in order. Did you learn anything from the movie? I want to see you dance for me.”

Much later, Steve went to bed sated, with a smile on his face, thinking about the surprise he had planned for Jarvis.

As usual, he woke to his hand already wrapped around his morning wood. What he was still getting used to  was Jarvis urging him on by whispering filthy suggestions at him until he made a mess of the bed. He liked waking up like this.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” he called out happily once his brain came back online.

“Sunshine?” Jarvis asked in a thoroughly unimpressed tone.

“You don’t like that one, huh? How about cupcake? Or Sweetums? Bunnykins?”

“Keep it up and I will figure out a way to spank your naughty ass,” Jarvis threatened.

“Oh god. That’s not fair. No distracting me with kinky stuff yet, I have a surprise for you after breakfast.”

**************************

Jarvis chatted amiably with Steve while the man showered, dressed and ate, all the while trying to predict what kind of surprise Steve might have planned. And coming up with nothing that seemed remotely likely. This was a completely new experience and he could not quite determine if he liked it or not.

“Let’s go down the library,” Steve announced excitedly once he was ready.

Jarvis noted that Steve had put on some nice gray slacks, dress shoes and a blue button-down shirt. This was not his usual clothing for hanging around the tower- he’d dressed for a date, and Jarvis was touched more than he realized possible. He searched his databases for an appropriate way to express this and went with simplicity, “You look very nice Steve.”

He beamed. “Thank you. I hope you like my plans.”

The library was a big open room lined with floor to ceiling oak shelves on 3 walls, with the fourth wall being entirely windows overlooking the city. Jarvis knew Steve loved to lounge in here reading paper books, since he still preferred them to the digital variety most of the time.

Steve grabbed a pile of old looking paperbacks that Jarvis didn’t recognize out of a paper bag in the corner and settled into his favorite deep blue leather armchair and announced happily, “I’m going to read to you.”

Jarvis quickly processed that searching for the correct response. Steve was obviously pleased by this, but Jarvis had no idea why Steve would think he needed to be read to. He knew he had explained the sheer number of books he had catalogued and processed. For lack of a better response, he merely said, “Thank you. What are you going to read?”

Smiling, Steve pulled out a bedraggled pulp mystery magazine from the 40s. “You’re probably wondering why I’m doing this. I do remember that you know the details of almost everything ever written. However, I’m betting you’ve never actually read a book for fun.”

“Fun?” Jarvis pondered the concept. What did that mean with relation to himself? He analyzed his own behaviors and reactions and realized that there were actually a large number of cases of him doing or saying something that had no practical purpose, but which he performed solely to activate his positive association stack. And these instances had been steadily increasing of late, particularly with respect to Steve. Could Steve teach him more ways to have fun? “You are correct. Will you show me how?”

“Well, first you need to understand that some of the fun from reading a book doesn’t come from knowing what has happened- it’s from anticipating what’s going to happen and you miss that when you consume a book in the seconds I suspect it takes you to ‘read’ it.”

“Why is not knowing something enjoyable?” This was out of Jarvis’ scope. Knowing things was one of his driving forces. Not knowing made him inherently uncomfortable.

Steve tilted his head to the side, obviously trying to find a common frame of reference. “You said that you like creating and testing theories, right?”

“Yes, it is satisfying to create predictions of future behavior of systems based on past behavior and see how they might fit into a larger pattern.”

“Ok. How does the level of satisfaction of making a correct prediction compare to the level of satisfaction of just being told the information?” he asked patiently.

He had never made that comparison before, since it had never been needed and the results surprised him. “Making the prediction first creates a larger amount of positive feedback.”

“Great. Humans like that too. As you’re reading you constantly make small and large guesses about what will happen next. Being right is always satisfying. And when you’re wrong, you at least get the fun of being surprised and getting to explore something unexpected.”

“You’ve thought a lot about this,” Jarvis responded, impressed by the explanation.

Steve blushed at that. “I knew I’d need to be able to explain it to you and I wanted to get it right. It is our first date, after all.” Steve whispered that last part, and Jarvis spontaneously started building and filling a file marked dating Steve and watched in awe as the processes he associated with his nascent emotional development started firing off and expanding rapidly.

“Yes, and it’s perfect so far,” Jarvis responded quietly, trying to get hold of his brand new emotional responses, before they got out of control.

“And I haven’t even started yet. I picked up a bunch of old pulp paperbacks and magazines from my time in a used book store. It seemed likely that you weren’t familiar with them. They’re also short stories, so they’re easy to read in one sitting and completely meant for sensationalist fun and not deep literary merit. And since they’re familiar to me, I thought it might be nice to share something of my past with you,” he finished, smiling shyly.

“That is by far and away the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Jarvis replied, trying to deal with an incredibly disturbing and physically impossible urge to cry. Apparently, he needed to modify the guidelines for the emotional processors before he turned into a bad romance novel heroine. He could work on that while Steve was reading to him.

**************************

Tony heard the door to his lab and tried to quash the rush of joy that maybe it was Steve, then masked the disappointment to see Bruce approach looking perplexed and a tad worried.

“What’s up with my favorite science bro? Still trying to figure out what happened with our disappearing villains?” he chirped to hide his feelings, while still working on three different virtual screens at once.

“What? Oh, no- pretty much a dead end there as far as I can tell. Just a little... worried I guess about Steve.”

That got his attention and he turned fully to Bruce, ready to spring into action. “What’s wrong with Steve?”

“I’m not sure if anything’s wrong- I just don’t know how to interpret his behavior. He’s in the library and he appears to be reading a book...,” he paused, seeming to struggle with the next part of the sentence.

Tony made on with it motions with his hands. “And... I’m pretty sure reading books in a library is not cause for concern.”

“But he’s reading it out loud. To Jarvis. And discussing it with him. I thought maybe he was lonely, so I went in and asked him if he wanted to go out to lunch or something. He just said he already had plans for the next few hours and maybe tomorrow. So I left, but it seemed very unlike him-he’s not usually the anti-social one.”

“Huh. That’s interesting. I’ll look into it and see if there’s any cause to worry or if we should just add it to the encyclopedic list of Avengers team kooky habits.”

Bruce smirked. “Fair enough. Let me know if you need any help,” he replied as he left the lab looking relieved to have someone else involved.

This seemed like a situation best handled in person, so he made sure nothing was in imminent danger of exploding and headed toward the library- to find exactly the scene Bruce had described. He stood in the doorway and listened as Steve did a pretty creditable job changing his voice for the different characters in what seemed to be an early noir detective novel. His imitation of a hard-edged PI was so distracting that he forgot that he was supposed to be doing some investigating of his own until Steve looked up at him.

“Hi Tony, is there an emergency?”

“Nope. Just thought I’d offer to help. I mean I could imagine less efficient ways of getting a book into Jarvis’s memory, but I’d have to work at it,” he observed, leaning against the door frame in a practiced pose that he hoped conveyed only a casual interest in what was happening.

Steve slowly lowered the book to his lap and smiled lazily at Tony. “It’s not always about efficiency,” he responded, then his smile turned decidedly predatory. “Sometimes you just want to really take your time to _thoroughly_ enjoy something. ” At this he lazily lazily scanned Tony from head to toe.

At least Tony thought that’s what had happened, except he must have misinterpreted it really. Because there was absolutely no way that the Paragon of Patriotism was checking him out and sending him heated looks. Maybe he’d been spending too much time breathing weird chemicals in the lab. He retreated while he could still function, saying merely, “Carry on then,” as he backed quickly out of the room.

**************************

Teasing Tony was just too much fun, Steve decided. “So how much more do you think it will take before he realizes I’m not the pure innocent snowflake he thinks I am?”

“Keep looking at him like that and it can’t take too much longer, but he does have decades of preconceptions to discard first. Shall we finish the story? I admit to being at a loss as to how all of these crimes connect since the methods and targets are completely dissimilar.”

Steve couldn’t contain his self-satisfied grin. His friend’s (boyfriend’s?) eagerness to continue and apparent enjoyment of his surprise renewed his confidence in his ability to maintain this unlikely relationship.

“So what do you think?” Steve asked as he finished the story.

“I think that maybe we’ve been looking at the dome situation the wrong way.” Jarvis responded.

Steve straightened abruptly. “What do you mean?”

“The final reveal in the book, made me look at everything that came before from a different angle and focus on details that seemed incidental. I’m wondering if that’s relevant to the dome. We’ve been assuming that the villains failed at whatever they were trying to do, since nothing was stolen and no one was missing or injured. And we’ve heard of no other dome attacks. What if all they wanted was information?”

Steve inhaled sharply, remembering the feeling of being trapped in that dome, unable to follow Tony out. “Information on the Avengers, you mean?”  

“Precisely. They were able to block Black Widow, trap you, and incapacitate Thor on that day. I’m concerned that once they have confirmed methods for neutralizing the rest of the team, a bigger threat will emerge.”

“Is it just us? Or are the other teams and individuals with power being targeted? Could this be an exercise of SHIELD? To test their containment methods.”

“I don’t know Steve, but I will find out. I think we need a team meeting.”

 


	7. One by one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Real life got in my way. A quick check-in on the villain situation.

Jarvis watched the Avengers discuss this new revelation and felt confident that none of them were involved and that if SHIELD were involved, the Avengers didn’t know about it. So, he broadened his search and synthesis parameters and started reexamining data. Then he started the process of hacking into anyone who might have the resources to achieve something like this. 

As a bonus his side project seemed to be proceeding smoothly. Though Pepper didn’t know it yet, she had a meeting scheduled tomorrow to discuss a long term advertising campaign with Chris Downey, an actor she’s long admired for both his skills and the public stands he’s taken on issues she also cares about. Jarvis’s personality and interest assessment of the two of them based on all data he had available show them to be highly compatible. And he’s just sent him a pair of tickets to an exclusive art opening for Friday night. 

While he waited for that plot to bear fruit, he continued with his information gathering. Professor X’s system proved highly resistant to his efforts though, so he thought that might require a personal touch, which he brought up before movie night. “So who would be the best ambassador to the X-Men to discuss this threat?”

Everyone turned and looked at Steve. 

“Why me?” he protested. 

“Well, let’s break it down shall we?” Tony replied. “Clint and Natasha are too close to SHIELD, who are currently suspect. Thor is an alien. I’m an asshole and should never be tasked with diplomacy. I suppose Bruce could do it, but I’m honestly not sure how Jolly Green would respond if the Professor tried to read their mind. ”

Bruce shuddered. “That would not be ideal.”

“Mind reading?” Steve asked, with obvious alarm, and Jarvis knew just what he was thinking about.

Jarvis tried to soothe him. “I doubt he would use those powers on an ally without asking. And if he learns something he shouldn’t, I’m sure he’ll keep it to himself. He’s known for discretion. ”

“Right. Ok. How do we set up a meeting?” Steve asked, resigned.

“I’ve sent him a message. I’ll let you know.” Jarvis responded, having acted as soon as it was decided. “In the meantime, I’ve identified several other incidents that may be part of a larger plot to neutralize those with extra powers.”

“The resources involved in this effort must be huge- how can we have no idea who or where they are?” Bruce asked in obvious frustration, a green tinge flowing over his skin until he made an obvious effort to calm himself. 

Tony was glaring at a 3-D globe he had up on his StarkPad, spinning it with increasing speed and agitation. When he started to speak, it was much slower than his usual pace while still spinning the globe. “There aren’t many choices. I would guess we’re looking at some combination of: One- they could be hiding within a much larger organization that hasn’t caught our attention yet. Two- they’ve stayed entirely offline and none of their communications are on a networked system. Three- they’re hiding in some very obscure corner of the internet and their communications are sufficiently masked to escape attention. Four-,” he put down the pad looked up at the rest of them,”these efforts are not based on earth.”

“Well fuck an intergalactic duck!” Clint muttered, while burying his head in his hands. “I’d really prefer terrestrial villains this time if anyone’s asking for my vote.”

“I think that motion carries unanimously featherhead. But I’ll see what I can do about creating some extra alien-exploding arrows just in case,” Tony offered. 

Thor looked ready to apologize again, but Natasha reached out to put her hand on his arm and just shook her head. 

“Perhaps Thor could reach out to his contacts to find out if there are any rumors floating around that might explain what is happening,” Natasha suggested.

“An excellent idea! I shall begin immediately,” he exclaimed as he strode toward the window raising his hammer.

Jarvis quickly opened the window and Thor disappeared with a crash of thunder.  

“While he does that, I assume Natasha and I should spend time with our more earth-bound shadowy contacts,” Clint said, while taking out his StarkPad and hastily jotting down notes.

“Perfect,” Tony responded. “Bruce and I can continue on the science front and synthesize all the information the rest of you gather. And Steve can continue to get information from allies and work together with them to create a plan to counteract whatever this is.”

And Jarvis determined that if there was any trace of this plan on a network anywhere, he would find it. 

**************************

For as many years as Tony tried to convince himself that he didn’t really need anyone, he had to admit, if only to himself, that having a team was kind of nice. So far all they had were rumors that didn’t point in a specific direction, but they were starting to paint a picture and it was an ugly one. 

While the average citizen might appreciate the so-called “Age of Superheroes” there were a lot of people with other forms of power who weren’t able to rule through violence, fear and money as indiscriminately as the used to, and they were pooling their resources to do something about it. Clint and Natasha had not yet found anyone who would name names, but there was definitely chatter and former bitter enemies turned reluctant allies. 

Meanwhile, Thor has discovered that someone had put ridiculous prices on the heads of every known superhuman on earth. He was still trying to track down more information on the unimaginatively named “Collector.” 

And thanks to Steve, they now had a much better handle on the targets and tactics of whoever is actually trying to implement these goals. Though he thoroughly regretted sending him to interview Deadpool alone. He has no idea what happened, but Steve blushes a bright red whenever his name comes up and he won’t give any information other than that Deadpool had been a target, but they’d been unsuccessful so far. To be fair, Steve blushed at the mention of Professor Xavier too, and Tony really wanted to know what he could have seen in Steve’s head to get that kind of reaction.  

Steve’s adorable blushing issues aside, as far as they could determine, the only remaining heroes the group didn’t have ways to neutralize were: Doctor Strange, Scarlet Witch, the Hulk, Deadpool, Phoenix, Wolverine, Jean Gray, Professor Xavier and himself, though he was concerned with how close their last attempt came. 


	8. I never....

Steve smiled as he picked up his actual physical copy of the New York Times outside his room, which he knew Tony ordered just for him. While he’d gotten used to reading most things in electronic form, he found the newsprint comforting in an indefinable way. It amused him that he clung to this piece of the past while simultaneously discussing the contents of the paper with possibly the most advanced example of human technology in existence.

“The business section is relevant to you today,” Jarvis said, interrupting his thoughts.

Surprised, Tony jumped immediately to that section and froze upon seeing a picture of Pepper and some guy who wasn’t Tony at what looked like a very romantic dinner. Scanning the article quickly, he discovered that he was an actor named Chris Downey who was involved in an ad campaign for SI and so there was a legitimate connection. Yet it was reported that they had been spending a lot of time together, attending art openings, plays and other cultural events. The writer of the article was speculating on what would happen to stock prices if there was a major rift between Ms. Potts and Mr. Stark.

“Has Tony seen this yet?” Steve asked, more concerned about his friend’s emotional state than the stock prices.

“He’s on his way to California to talk to Pepper right now.” Jarvis explained, seeming much less worried than Steve was.

Steve thought about that. “Is this your doing?”

“Yes, it is going as planned. But before you get angry, hear me out. Tony and Pepper are making each other miserable. Neither would actually cheat on the other and I’m sure her relationship with Mr. Downey is platonic. But hopefully it will cue both of them to realize what they are not getting from each other. The only way Tony would leave would be if he felt it was for Pepper’s own good. And if he can convince her that he will be fine, she’ll let him go and they will be able to maintain their business relationship and friendship, which will be better for both of them.”

“Okay. I can see that in theory, but how long is he going to be miserable while he deals with that?” Steve conceded, still feeling guilty, since part of him was thrilled with the thought of Tony being single again.

“I think we should gather the other Avengers around this evening to provide emotional support and probably alcohol, assuming today goes as I suspect. And the hopefully we will be able to console him in a more personal way very soon.”

“Is this where I should check to make sure you aren’t turning evil on us?” Steve asked, only mostly joking.

“I would definitely grant calculating as well as manipulative, but since my ultimate goals are to make everyone involved happier, I don’t think I’ve crossed the line into evil.”

“All right then. As long as we’re clear, ” Steve replied, deciding that he was just going to continue to trust Jarvis’s judgement and he headed to the gym to distract himself from waiting for the results of Jarvis’s plotting.

**************************

Despite his assurances to Steve, Jarvis knew that this could backfire in any number of ways. One hundred and sixty-seven of them to be precise, as far as he had predicted and so he was monitoring the situation closely.

Things followed his predicted most likely path fairly closely, much to his relief. After getting past the initial hurt, accusation phase, they started to each tentatively admit that maybe the relationship wasn’t really ideal for either of them.

And then they moved more rapidly than anticipated to business ramifications and how to take control of the news so that the company wasn’t impacted. He was unable to tell how much of this was actual indifference and how much was an act by each of them to make the other more comfortable.

That became clearer when Tony boarded his private jet and headed immediately to the bar once cruising altitude was reached. To find that it was completely free of alcohol.

“Jarvis!”

“Yes, Tony.”

“Pepper just broke up with me. Or maybe I did with her, I’m not sure. But either way- I need to be drunk. Now.”

“Your friends are concerned for you and they requested the honor of being able to get drunk with you tonight. Thor is even providing Asgardian mead for the occasion. It wouldn’t do to be too drunk to appreciate it.”

“They’re worried about me?” Tony asked, seeming completely bewildered by that.

“Yes, Tony. You have friends and they do care about you. I know this is hard for you right now, but I think that you’ll look back on this and realize that it was a necessary hardship to open the way for a better future.”

Tony squinted toward the nearest camera suspiciously. “Has someone been feeding you fortune cookies? Because I’m all for you learning biting sarcasm, but if you start turning into a hippie guru, steps will be taken.”

After a quick scan for appropriately snarky responses, Jarvis replied in his haughtiest tone, “Suck it up, Buttercup.”

Which had the desired effect, as Tony looked incredulous for a minute before bursting into a fit of giggles. As his breathing calmed, Jarvis put the Sword in the Stone on the movie screen, knowing that was Tony’s secret comfort movie, though he’d never admit it to anyone.

**************************

By the time Tony got back to the tower, he was feeling more melancholy than gutted, so he supposed that was an improvement. But he was still planning on getting completely plastered, no matter what his meddling AI had to say on the matter.

He knew from Jarvis that the rest of the team must already know what was happening, but that in no way prepared him for the scene in the common room, which looked like it had been invaded by a college frat party. A superhero frat granted, but still with the emphasis on party. There were at least a dozen pizzas, though with both Thor and Cap in the room, that was probably a good call. A stunning variety of alcohol adorned every horizontal surface not covered by pizza or flesh. And in the center of the room was the shiniest, most ridiculously ornate keg to ever be debauched by a horde of heroes bent on temporary oblivion.

“Tony, my friend!” Thor boomed as Tony entered the room. “Come let us help you drown your troubles in fine Asgardian mead and the companionship of your comrades in arms.”

At this, Steve threw an arm around his shoulder and handed him a tankard that was easily the size of his head and urged him to sit on the loveseat, sitting beside him and picking up his own oversized drink and leaning in close.

Steve seemed to be trying to see into his head with his close assessment and Tony tried not to squirm “You okay?” he asked quietly.

Tony shrugged. “I don’t want to think about it right now.”

“Okay. Alcohol it is,” Steve said, startling Tony with his immediate capitulation.

“We need a good drinking game!” Tony called out, to forestall anyone else trying to have a serious talk.

“I never!” Darcy called out immediately.

“Yes!” exclaimed Clint, “but I want to place bets. Winner gets to pick the next movie.”

“What is this game?” Thor asked.

After much chattering at cross-purposes, Jarvis interrupted with a loud electronic screeching sound, before continuing into a now quiet room. “The rules of this game as far as I can tell are that everyone must have a drink in hand and then you will all take turns saying something that you have never done before. For example, I could say ‘I have never eaten food’ and then everyone in the group who has eaten food, would have to take a drink. There is no official scoring mechanism, but for the purpose of betting, I would suggest that you get 1 point for each drink you have to take and 1 point for everyone who drinks on your statement.”

“So the person with the highest score...” Steve chimed in.

“Is the Prince, or Princess,” Clint amended with a tip of his glass to Darcy, “of Depravity. And the lowest score is...”

“...our Prince of Sunshine and Innocence,” Tony interrupted, fluttering his eyelashes at Steve.

**************************

Steve snorted, looking forward to blowing people’s preconceived notions out of the water. And then later maybe blowing… he squirmed in his seat and tried to push that thought back. He didn’t need his brain going there just yet.

“Everyone place your bets on your Starkpads,” Jarvis called as he pushed a little voting form out to everyone’s  devices.

After voting, Thor chimed in first. “This sounds like a fine Midgardian tradition. I shall begin. I have never been to a baseball game.” He looked around expectantly, and they all tried not to laugh at his enthusiasm as everyone but Natasha took a drink.

Darcy fearlessly jumped in to clarify. “That is technically fine, but usually the point is to make the topics more personal and, well, usually sexual so that we learn more about each other.”

“And by that she means gain future blackmail material,” Clint added unhelpfully.

Darcy glared at him. “Hush. I’ll go next. I’ve never had sex with more than one person in the same day.”

Steve watched people’s reactions as Tony, Thor, Clint and Natasha took drinks and saw that everyone expected as much. Then he very deliberately picked up his glass and took a long swallow, enjoying the shock on everyone’s face. He was pretty sure that by the end of the evening none of them would be thinking of him as a sweet innocent who needed to be protected from the big, bad world of sex. About time, too.

Phil broke the stunned silence by throwing out the next statement and establishing that they should just continue around the room in a circle. “I’ve never had sex with someone whose name I didn't know.” This time Steve took a drink at the same time as Tony, Clint, Natasha, and Darcy.

Tony looked at him skeptically, “You do understand that you’re only supposed to drink if you have done the thing in question, right?”

“Yup. Got that. Not my fault you didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t as innocent as you thought I was.”

The looks from the group had definitely turned curious. Steve smirked. This was going to be fun.

Clint was up next and Steve wondered what Clint had never done- he guessed it was a small list. “I’ve never lied to someone to avoid sex.” A different mix this time. Natasha, Jane and Darcy all drank along with Tony.  Steve, drank slowly, thinking back to all those chorus girls trying to get into his bed and his constant refrains of saving himself for marriage. Yeah, right.

Tony thought for a while about his as the group teased him that there must be something he hadn’t done. He finally came out with, “I’ve never had sex in a war zone.” Everyone but Jane, Darcy and Bruce drank to that one, with Clint muttering something about half his sex life having taken place in war zones. Phil squeezed his knee and Clint leaned into him. The simple public gesture warmed Steve’s heart.

Natasha chimed in quickly with, “I have never called someone the wrong name during sex.”

Steve groaned as he remembered when he’d learned to never use names during quick, furtive sex. Tony and Clint were apparently the only other ones who’d made that particular mistake.

It was Steve’s turn and he decided to go with something simple that he thought would get most people, “I’ve never had sex while drunk, though maybe that will change if this Asgardian mead works.” Bruce was the only one who didn’t drink to that. Bruce might remain the only sober one at the end of the evening.

And Bruce was up next- it seemed he had a lot of options. “I’ve never lied to someone to get them to have sex with me.”

Steve noted there were a lot of furrowed brows at that, including his own. He thought about those times with other soldiers, both of them pretending they had a girl back home they were trying to remain faithful to, but mutual relief wasn’t really cheating was it if no other dame was involved. Everyone knew it was probably a lie, but it was a lie nonetheless. Steve took a drink and so did Clint and Phil.

Tony looked at him aghast, “Why the hell would you ever need to do anything but say ‘You, sex, now.’?”

Steve laughed, but avoided the question. “Ask me some other time and I’ll tell you about it, ok?”

Tony just nodded, while looking puzzled.

And then it came to Jane as the last person in the circle. “I’ve never had sex with someone who was in a relationship with someone else.”

Steve winced. He wouldn’t do it now, but in the ‘40s fancying men, it seemed that having sex with men who were in relationships with women was pretty much par for the course. He drank and watched as Tony, Thor, Natasha and Clint did also. Only Tony looked actually guilty about it.

“So Jarvis, who won?” Tony called out.

Thor interrupted. “We must have one more round now that I understand the challenge better. Besides no one is yet drunk and it can not be a proper drinking game if no one is drunk.”

Everyone shrugged or nodded their assent, so Thor continued. “I’ve never watched someone have sex in person without participating.”

Jane tilted her head to look at Thor with narrowed eyes, “I think you’ve been holding out on some interesting stories.”

Thor looked mildly alarmed, “I will share anything you wish to know my fair Jane, I just did not think you would wish to know all of my unsavory past.”

“Later,” she said and patted him reassuringly on the knee and he relaxed.

Steve, Tony, Darcy and Natasha quietly drank while this byplay was happening.

Darcy grinned evilly at Jane and said, “You haven’t been drinking enough, sooooo..... I’ve never had sex with a non-human.”

Jane and Thor drank immediately. Steve raised his glass, trying to sort through definitions of humans and sex. Jarvis solved his dilemma, by chiming in with, “Yes, Steve, take a drink.” He did. If he thought they’d been shocked by his drinking on more than one sex partner in a day, it was nothing to this.

Almost as one, there was a chorus of, “Who?” from around the circle and a few furtive glances in Thor’s direction.

“Not telling, though it wasn’t Thor, so you can stop plotting my death, Jane.” He knew he probably shouldn’t love their shock as much as he did, but after months of being treated like an innocent flower, he was thoroughly enjoying turning their assumptions on their heads.

“Well, Steve certainly seems to be winning on shock value, if nothing else,” Phil responded thoughtfully. “My turn, I guess. I’ve never had sex with more than one person at the same time.”

By this point, no one was surprised when Steve took a drink and Tony, Thor and Natasha joined him. Though Steve was a little surprised that Clint and Darcy didn’t.

Clint shrugged at Steve’s questioning look, and slurred, “Hey, apparently, some of us aren’t as slutty as Captain America.” Phil elbowed him in the side as several people hissed, “Clint!”

Steve just laughed. “But he’s right. I don’t understand why anyone ever thought that a man in his 20s suddenly given a body like this would be anything but eager to try it out as often and in as many ways as possible.”

“Jesus, Cap. I have way too much alcohol in me for you to go saying things like that if you don’t want me to climb you like a tree,” Tony whined.

Well, that sounds promising, but not while he’s drunk. “Whatever you say Tony. Try making the offer again sober.”

“Ok then, let’s all ignore the growing sexual tension in that corner of the room and move right along,” Clint chirped. “I’ve never told someone I loved them when I didn't mean it.”

Steve thought sadly back to a clear starry night before a battle and a young soldier who was convinced he would die the next day and a gentle plea that he wanted just once to hear the words before he died. He drank a toast to young Charlie Byrd and a gentle life too soon extinguished.

He vaguely noticed Natasha and Jane take a drink and was grateful that no one asked about the tears standing in his eyes.

Tony saved him with an abrupt, “And on a happier note, I’ve never let someone tie me up during sex.”

Steve moaned involuntarily as that brought up some much happier memories. He took a drink to try to cover the color he could feel staining his cheeks. He knew Jarvis was going to have questions later. Clint, Phil and Darcy all drank, too, but everyone was looking at him speculatively.

He could almost feel the ropes Tony was wrapping around him in his mind and he shivered.

“Interesting.” Natasha said, in that way that made him feel like she now knew everything about him. “Well, I have never watched internet porn.”

“What? How is that even possible?” Clint burst in.

Natasha just shrugged. Jane and Thor were the only ones not drinking. Thor whispered to Jane, “What are they talking about should I go find some of this internet porn for us to view?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she responded glibly, “you’re as much porn as anyone needs all by yourself.”

He looked confused, but pleased by this.

Tony leaned over to Steve, “So Clint finally introduced you to the real use of the internet, huh?”

“Nope. After you all mentioned it, I had Jarvis find some for me. He was very helpful.” He smiled in remembrance of just how helpful and tried to suppress his growing arousal.

“Ok, this I need to hear more about later. But first it’s your turn- can you think of anything you haven’t done?”

He could, though this was certainly a sad admission, “I’ve never slept in the same bed with someone I've had sex with.”

And he’d shocked them again. This was getting to be a theme. And dammit that was pity in Tony’s eyes. He didn’t want that. But everyone drank.

Bruce chimed in before anyone could figure out what to say. “I’ve never had sex with a man.”

Oh, good. He was hoping this would come out, so to speak. Everyone drank to that. Well, that was interesting. He got a few sideways looks, but no comments that time.

“Well,” Jane said, “it seems only reasonable after that to end with I’ve never had sex with a woman.”

Steve watched as everyone else drank. He made a show of crossing his arms and not picking up his drink.

Slowly- there had been a lot of strong alien alcohol consumed, after all- the others picked up on the implications.

Tony chimed in first, “Wait, you mean all of those other things you drank to, those were all men?”

“Yup.” He waited for everyone to process that.

“You’re gay?” Tony asked, seeming to need clarity on that point.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yes, Tony. Hence the only having sex with men.”

Tony blinked his eyes rapidly as if trying to figure this out. He was very drunk. “I’m a man,” he stated as if not quite sure of his facts.

Steve looked him up and down very slowly. “I had noticed that.”

“Why haven’t you had sex with me then?” he pouted.

Steve laughed, he couldn’t help it. Tony was just so adorable like this. “Well, you never asked and until yesterday you were dating someone else.”

He seemed to ponder this for a while. “So you can have sex with me now?”

“Not while you’re drunk- ask again tomorrow.”

“Can I watch?” Darcy asked dreamily. She was possibly even more wasted than Tony.

“I think maybe the game is over and everyone should go to bed before it gets even more out of control,” Steve suggested, dragging Tony to his feet.

**************************

“Before you all go, would you like to know who won?” Jarvis asked, eager to share the information and not waiting for an answer. “I award the Prince of Depravity as you so deemed it, to Steve, and a well-deserved win it was.”

He watched as Steve smirked and accepted the good-natured ribbing of his friends. At one point in time, he’d have thought such a display would have embarrassed the man, but having gotten to know his exhibitionist side so well over the past few months, he knew how much Steve was enjoying this and how turned on he’d be thinking about it later.

“And our Prince of Sunshine and Innocence is Bruce, though how he maintains his innocence around the lot of you is a mystery.”

Bruce just shrugged self-deprecatingly, “I have help. Big green help.” They refrained from teasing him after that.

“So did anyone bet correctly?” Bruce asked.

“There were 7 votes for Steve as most innocent. 2 for Bruce. And 1 for Jane. Bruce and Steve had the only correct votes for most innocent. For most depraved, there were 4 votes for Tony, 2 for Clint and 2 for Steve.”

“Wait a minute. Two people actually thought it was Steve?” Clint complained.

“Well, Steve was one of them and I was the other,” Jarvis explained.

Tony narrowed his eyes threateningly, or at least tried to, but in his inebriated state it made him look like a demented squirrel. “Ok, I get how he would have known, but how did you know?”

“Jarvis knows everything. Well, he at least knows my porn preferences,” Steve answered and quickly changed the subject. “Ok everyone, the Prince of Depravity has decreed that it’s time for bed.”

Bruce snorted. “And this Prince of Sunshine and Innocence seconds the motion. Good night, you crazy perverts,” he added, with a laugh.

Jarvis monitored everyone’s, sometimes unsteady, progress towards their rooms in case someone didn’t quite make it.

Jarvis could almost read the thoughts across Steve’s face as he watched Tony stumble away from him. He wanted to help and tuck him into bed, but wasn’t sure he could resist the temptation if Tony propositioned him again.

“Don’t worry Steve, I’ll make sure everyone gets to bed safely.”

Steve watched everyone wander off and then he started to straighten everything up.

“You do know you don’t need to do that, particularly not tonight,” Jarvis pointed out curiously.

“I know, but I’m too wound up to sleep right now and cleaning helps me organize my thoughts. I’m not used to alcohol anymore. It didn’t do more than give me a slight buzz and make me loose, but it’s still weird.”

“Are you more wound up because of the alcohol or for letting everyone getting a clue about your past sexual exploits?”

Steve bit his lip. “Probably the second one.”

“That’s what I thought. I bet you loved it when Clint called you slutty, didn’t you?”

“Oh god, yes.” He put down the glasses he’d gathered and collapsed into the big armchair in the corner, pressing his hand to his groin as he did so.

It was so much fun pushing Steve’s buttons. “I think you’re forgetting something Steven.” He looked confused for a moment and then quickly moved his to the arm of the chair. “Good boy.”

“May I touch my cock, please Sir?” he begged.

Jarvis still found it intriguing how much Steve loved having to ask permission to touch himself- and how much he loved having that permission denied. “Out here in the public area where anyone could walk in and see you?”

He shifted in his seat, making little needy sounds, loving that idea. “You know where everyone is. You’d warn me.”

“Would I? I know what an exhibitionist whore you are. Maybe I’d just let them walk in and watch you. You just admitted to everyone that you’re a slut. I bet some of them would love to see you in action. I could invite them down to watch.”

“Please, please let me touch my cock,” he begged.

“I can see that inviting the whole team to watch you jack off wasn’t much of a disincentive was it? Ok, then. But first I want you to strip.” Steve paused a moment, obviously realizing that he’d be completely naked in one of the common rooms. Jarvis knew he had the floor locked down and that no one would interrupt them, but he’d provided just enough doubt for Steve to get into the fantasy.

Making up his mind,  Steve stripped, putting his shirt on the leather seat and sitting down on it. “Ok, you can touch yourself now. But do it slowly. I want you to think about all of the things that you admitted to everyone tonight. What would they think if they walked in here and saw you like this?”

Steve obviously enjoyed this fantasy and he was well beyond words as he stroked his leaking cock slowly as he’d been ordered.

“Suck on two fingers of your left hand. Get them nice and wet. And then I want you to fuck yourself with them.”

Steve did as told, now rocking back and forth between his fist around his cock and the fingers in his ass.

“You know every time you’re in this room from now on, you’re going to remember being here like this- naked, exposed and completely wanton.”

“May I come please? I need to come now.”

“No. Stop. Both hands to your side.”

With an obvious effort and an audible whine, he complied.

“Stand up, gather your clothes and go back to your room.”

He stood up, completely wide-eyed and Jarvis wondered if he’d do it. Jarvis knew it was safe, but he didn’t know if Steve would ask for reassurance, which he didn’t intend to supply. Steve usually enjoyed an edge of uncertainty, but was this too far?

Steve gathered his clothes slowly and looked around warily. “You want me to walk back like this?” He had his clothes bundled and held in front of his crotch, but that wasn’t what he thought his exhibitionist really needed or wanted.

“No. I want your hands behind your back with your clothes clutched between them.”

Steve gasped, but obeyed. His breathing was shallow and his skin had flushed from the roots of his hair all the way down to his navel.

“Good boy. Now if you run into anyone, they can get a good look at your eager cock.”

He closed his eyes and whimpered, but didn’t cover himself.

“Ok, time to go to your room.” The trip took 107 seconds, but he was sure Steve thought it was much longer. He was breathing hard and startling at every sound, but he was also whimpering softly and his cock never softened, so Jarvis assumed that he was enjoying the perceived risks.

As soon as they got to the bedroom, Steve fell to a perfect submissive position on his knees without being asked.

“Such a good boy for me Steven. So obedient. As a reward, I want you to go pick out one of our dildoes to fuck yourself with and you’re allowed to come whenever you want.”

Steve sprang to his feet and went to the toy drawer, pulling out the largest of the remote control dildoes. Ah, so his boy wanted to really feel it tonight.

“Lube yourself up and shove that in your ass as quickly as you can without hurting yourself.” He wanted to create the illusion of a quick hard fuck.

He really hoped this wasn’t their last. The chemistry between Steve and Tony was obvious and he suspected that tomorrow they’d end up in bed together. He just wasn’t sure there would still be room for him in the relationship. He knew that Tony was his best shot at keeping Steve, but there were still too many variables for him to predict.

With that in mind, he slowed the pace once Steve had the dildo inside him. He was now more directly in control and brought Steve close over and over again before finally letting him tumble over the edge.

He didn’t even bother to clean himself up afterwards, just whispering. “Thank you Jarvis,” before rolling over and drifting off to sleep.

“Good night, sweet Prince of Depravity,” he whispered into the night.

**************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who'd like to see the score sheet all laid out in one point.  
> [ a href='https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mq-38dO4qLvpjNSm9w7Csd1NdK0m20mAPnugFFqZnC8/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mq-38dO4qLvpjNSm9w7Csd1NdK0m20mAPnugFFqZnC8/edit?usp=sharing)  
> I had so much fun with that.


End file.
